Tips for going to court with abuser

[terribleangel]

Soon I have to go to court about the divorce from my abuser. Does anyone have any tips, for how to stay calm or how to think about it. This was a seriously abusive coercive control long marriage and although I am out I am still weak and frightened. Thanks.

I would contact Womens Aid in this respect as they could help you further.

Why do you have to go to court at all?. He won't co-operate there either; abusers never co-operate. Do you have your own legal representation like a Solicitor?. It is likely he is using the court system as another way of getting back at you as "punishment".

I can’t go into why I have to, I just wondered if people had words of encouragement or support, or tips. I know how bad the situation is.

You can ask for a screen placed in court so you don't have to see him. Also courts have small waiting rooms and ask to have one of those while you wait so you don't see him while waiting.
If you have an impact statement write it before hand or the police might do one with you.
Ask court if they offer anything else and take it. Good luck

thanks

any tips on how to stay emotionally grounded and in my own reality will also be gratefully received

Write down one thing every day about your day with the date. ie feeling good, feeling sad, feeling strong, etc. Then you can start seeing how far you have come. You can also do the same if you have the energy to document the control examples, include date, time and impact on you or your children if you have them. you will see patterns begin to emerge on what you got out of. This can help firm up in your mind your reality and your decision to move forward. Day by day and minute by minute. Sending you strength!