Divorce, Why didn't I see it before!

[Flyingsolo123]

Recently went for major surgery and asked my ex husband to help with the kids as I have no family around. I asked for 1 extra overnight for my surgery and driving kids to and from school while I recovered for the first 2 weeks.

Kids should have been at dad's days therefore for 5 days to give me a head start on recovery.

Day 1 post op, (weekend)kids were dropped off mid afternoon because he had errands to run for 3 hours!

Day 3 post op, kids dropped in after school, picked up at bedtime

Days 4, 5 and 6 post op kids caught a sickness bug. He refused to take time off work and rold me im off anyways so i should have them.

I love spending time with my kids but should have been recovering, I can't lift can't drive and I'm in alot of pain.

He didn't check in before surgery or after.

2 weeks post op.... ex had a sickness bug. Refusing to watch the kids as hes too unwell and "I'm off work anyways"

Am I going mad ? .... Is that selfish....

I assume his behaviour is a reason you’re divorced

It's the main reason, I sat on the decision to leave for a long time before I actually went. I doubted if it was all in my head.

Don't answer the doorbell next time or bolt the door. Then see what he does!

Anameisaname he knows I won't say no to having the kids unwell or not. I just feel this was a step too far ?

Can I suggest, as soon as you are better, that you book yourself a nice week away. Drop the kids at required time and then text him from the airport to say you have had to go away, its an emergency with a friend and he'll have to watch the kids.

He can rearrange his schedule for once.
And then enjoy yourself for a week.

I suppose it just makes your decision to divorce even more solid. He sounds awful. Mine was supposed to look after our young children so I could go to my mom's funeral. He agreed and then changed his mind the very morning of the funeral leaving me in a right mess.

Get well soon op xx

Sorry hun but you need to.
So unless you feel they are unsafe with him ypu are going to have to refuse this otherwise he won't learn. Take it from me !

A reminder of how right you were to divorce him can be handy now and again.
However, this could show that its also time to broaden your friendship and support network, so you have alternatives to him for help.
But also, you are making a rod for your own back by agreeing a plan, then not sticking to it. Perhaps taking yourself off somewhere for a few days to recouporate ,would of been wise, so he knew it was going to be a rigid blan with no alternatives. It was your decision to bend to his will again, as I suspect you have done too many times over the years.