Think I need to cancel this date!

[nettii2414]

Even after quite some time on OLD, i still get myself in situations i'm not sure of. I like a date to be arranged pretty quickly but it can backfire. Agreed to go on a date (seemed nice enough, intelligent etc) told him I could meet him Saturday for a drink or coffee before I went out with friends for a meal. Then he sent a message saying "Date location? Sans alcohol" I went back and said is that your way of suggesting coffee? He said "Prefer a cafe to a pub. I've booked a table at xxx restaurant at 4.30pm". I went back and said bookings in this restaurant are for meals not drinks/coffee (says on their website) He said "I don't care, I'll order olives if they complain". Not only is he telling me I'm not going to be drinking, he books a table at a restaurant (which sells alcohol) without asking me if that's OK, and is really quite rude about taking a table. I will add, on his profile he states that he loves a glass of red so it's not because he has a drink problem. If he's irritated me this much before I've met him 'm gonna have to cancel. Never done that before. Would you just be real polite or tell them exactly why?

Yes I'd be honest, you aren't on the same wavelength, you don't want him trying to suggest another time.

Well he has a charming way with words, doesn't he? He's quite the communicator. Sounds as though his love of a glass of red has now led him to stop drinking altogether.

He sounds bad tempered and picky, tbh, and I'd look for a higher level of communication skills, too, so I'd cancel.

I'm confused about this statement Not only is he telling me I'm not going to be drinking, he books a table at a restaurant (which sells alcohol) without asking me if that's OK.

You've said he doesn't have a drink problem, do YOU have a drink problem, especially with the sans alcohol comment as well?

Ah ignore me sorry, I've read it wrong. Your issue was with him booking the restaurant without asking, not that it sells alcohol. It's been a long day

He sounds like a right arse. Definitely cancel!

Why would you assume she has a problem with alcohol?

OP, he sounds as though he thinks he's a special case if he's going to a restaurant which specifies you have to order meals, to then tell them he's not having a meal.

I’ll be honest OP he sounds like an arrogant twat.

Id be cancelling and saying we’re not on same page

I’d be annoyed that he’d booked a time and place without checking it’s ok.

Because I read the post wrong, apologised and edited my post to say so

Yes, I think we cross posted!

He sounds like exactly the kind of guy I wish I had cancelled on in my OLD days!

"You can cancel the booking, I'm already not feeling it" would be explanation enough if you want to give one.

If he's made you feel awkward, cancel it.

Or maybe he is driving there, or maybe is taking antibiotics, or maybe wants the first date to not be inhibited by booze.

There are ways of communicating that in a relaxed, happy, and fun way, if you are planning a first date.

I agree the guy sounds like an arse.

Definitely cancel if you're no longer feeling it. There's no point in wasting your time just to be polite, and it doesn't sound like he'd be very good company!

I was once in a similar situation and I basically just said something like "I've changed my mind about meeting. Take care."

Yeah I wouldn’t like that exchange of messages either. Something a bit off there

Well it seems you unanimously agree with how I'm feeling. Phew.

I don't drink alcohol very often, but I don't want to be told I can't!!

I've messaged and just said that I don't feel we are a very good match so don't want to waste anyone's time so going to have to cancel.

Very diplomatic of me...I was tempted to say much more.

Be prepared for an angry reply from him.

Who books a table for coffee anyway?

Who goes for a hot beverage at 4.30pm???

He doesn't sound very socially aware.

Olives and coffee...what a weirdo

I had a 2pm coffee date and the bloke turned up in a suit and tie complete with pocket handkerchief- they’re definitely out there 🤣

I think he was railroading your wishes. He booked a table because he would be next encouraging you to have a meal with him. He wanted to be the one to get you to make an evening of it with him, regardless of you having other plans. This is a guy who will try and control what you do. Best to steer clear.

I met an idiot like this. I had one small glass of wine I went order another and basically told me that - i could not order another one. I should of just walked out, instead I just sat there in shock while he next proceeded to say - ‘women like you with large breasts must have an std’ I certainly do not, I did at that point just walk out

"Date location? Sans alcohol"

What a silver tongued devil eh?

Bullet dodged there OP, why can't he just have a normal conversation.

God he sounds awful. Bullet dodged OP!