How much does your partner do with the family?

[Glitterandtinsel1]

My partner never wants to do anything!! Family events on his side he will turn down the invite and on my side I go alone. Days out to theme parks or events like fireworks or Christmas light switch ons I go on my own with the kids. I always ask him and he will always make up an excuse or just say he's for the gym or something. It gets a little lonely sometimes and I wonder what we will actually do when the kids grow up if he's no interest now. Anyone else's partners the same? Am I overthinking it?

Hes not a partner then is he? What do you get out of having him in your life?

I mean, I know what he gets - I would put money on you doing all the childcare, household tasks, cooking, cleaning shopping etc. Plus sex.

@SavBlancTonight yes I pretty much do everything. He does go on holiday with us and the odd trip to the movies but only because I book and organise it and really leave him with no choice. I don't want to split up our family but as I've said I am worried we won't have a future if things don't change

You all do not share a life with him now let alone in the future if you choose to remain with him. This is who he is and such men do not change. He has everything just how he likes it.

How do you explain his absence to the kids when you go out on days out?. They notice all along with seeing your reactions both spoken and unspoken to this. Is this really the role model of a relationship you want to be showing them?

And why do you not want to split the family up?. It could be argued he’s already done that because he refuses to take part in family activities giving poor excuses.

What family? You have a lodger. Does he even engage with the dc at all?

He doesn't want to spend time with you, or your kids.
Which are sort of the fundamentals of being in a relationship and parenting...
You and the kids deserve better than this.

Tell him that you don't want to split up the family ideally, but you can't see a future unless he involved himself as a partner to you and equal parent to your children.

Op I'm a big confused, do you mean he doesn't do anything with your family unit (you and dc) or with your wider family (grandparents or siblings etc).

We moved back to my hometown to be closer to me family- primarily for me and dc. He made it clear that he didn't want to always have to do stuff with my family (whom I'm very close to- especially my sisters and their dc). I'm ok with that. He's an introvert at heart. He does do the big things- Xmas, big birthdays etc but doesn't want to go along to the park, cinema, zoo or for a coffee.

He doesn't opt out of things we do as a family unit though.

Sounds horrible OP, I couldn't live with a partner like that (I have and it made me miserable).
I get that you don't want to split up the family. But honestly, rather than a few logistic issues, is your family not split already? Really, how would your life as a single mum be any different from what it is now?