Feeling single

[Notsoflirtythirty]

Anyone else in a relationship where they pretty much feel single?

He walks in doesn't say hello just goes upstairs to faff around and do what ever he's doing. Usually comes down when my children go to bed.

We don't eat dinner together. We don't do anything at the weekend's together. He does what he does at the weekend, either with his children every other weekend or with his family when he doesn't have them. Usually go to bed at different time's .

He gets up gets ready for work and leaves. No breakfast together, nothing. Don't even walk the dog's together. I'm just feeling so fed up with it. Nothing changes no matter how many time's we talk about it.

He tries to tell me this is not unusual and lots of couples are like it. Never helps with my kids either. I guess I'm just fed up and venting and feeling fed up

He doesn't even say hello when he comes home? That's just rude regardless of who it is.

I mean do you wash his clothes, make his dinner, change his bed, clean his bathroom and you don't even get an hello? Or even your kids?

If a mere man didn't acknowledge my kids at all to fuck would I live in the same house.

How did you end up living with this self obsessed cock?

That's exactly how I feel at this point in time. And I'm just at the end of my rope with it all.

He wasn't previously like this until we moved in together. But I'm always painted out that I'm being unreasonable. It's just wearing and boring

And yes I do the washing, cleaning etc. He does clean up also, because apparently my attempts are sub standard according to him.

But I don't get any help with my kid's, or their dinner's if I'm busy with one of them at an after school activity. Which I do appreciate they aren't his children, but I've cooked for his countless time's, done their washing, taken them to places and so on

I feel the same in my relationship. We have no kids. He just does as he pleases. I moved into his for 8 months till my house was built. He didn’t change anything to accommodate me. His life is the same actions. I just happen to be here.

he says when I move out it will be better as we will do things more. There is nothing stopping us now. Just means he has to make an effort.

I think I'm just at the point of being done with it. I'm doing everything on my own anyway.

It's my house. So I wouldn't have to worry about that. Also wouldn't be waiting for the grass to be cut for 3 weeks..I'd just do it. Its always a promise of change, or of him doing thing's in the house or garden, and nothing ever materialises.

@Notsoflirtythirty my DP said when I moved in he would help out and split chores. I do the cooking as I like it.

he didn’t do anything. We argued and still did t do anything. We then split them and I don’t nag if he doesn’t do it. I just leave it.

I am out in 3 weeks to my own house.

My ex was like this.
He would come home and never sit with me even for half hour. He would get in...straight into kitchen to open can/s beer and smoke on doorstep...then he would get in nightclothes and fall asleep...was lucky to spend 5 minutes together.Lonely time. It never ends of well OP

Yep he comes in, goes straight upstairs either naps,or goes on his phone,usually to 8/9 pm. Or like yesterday he came in, faffed around upstairs, got in the bath until 9. Then went back to bed. Just pointless.

I think if it wasn't my house, and it was his, I would have packed up and just left by now, but seems harder kicking someone out

You're not in a relationship with this man.
You're basically roommates, with the added joy of being his maid on the side.
Sounds horrible. I couldn't live like this.
And the fact that he's perfectly fine with things being the way they are, is astonishing. But it also tells you he's not about to change.
I know kicking someone out is hard. But trust me, living like this for the rest of your life is harder.

Jeez I'd honestly rather be single.

That sounds dire, no it’s not normal at all and very unhealthy. As it’s your house I bet he isn’t paying his way either. Time to get rid of him.

@Notsoflirtythirty

He's not adding anything positive to your life, of the life of your children is he? In fact you're providing a home for him and his children and you help with his children - a courtesy he doesn't give to you. How long will you put up with this? 🌹

I absolutely don't want to live like this, I said this recently when I voiced how unhappy I was.
The minute is knows I've had enough he puts a show on for a few day's or a week then it all goes back. I think I just need to bite the bullet and be done with it!

Sounds like he was using you by putting on the charm so he could move in, and now he’s got his feet under the table he’s dropped the act.

It’s probably cheaper and more convenient for him to live with you, especially as you don’t demand much from him but yet help him with his kids etc.

Not sure why you’d put up with this.

Re. Him being like a roommate, I agree but even then I’ve had roommates who I’ve had a better relationship than that with. We’d occasionally eat dinner together or socialise together and also greet each other when we came back from work if the other was in the living room or kitchen. And I even have some friends who went on holiday with their roommates, attended parties with them and cooked together regularly with.

So just think - you interact with each other less than some roommates do.

Sounds like all he wants from you is bed and board. Kick him out OP there's no emotional connection and it will make your life a misery if you stick with him. He has more to lose than you- you have plenty to gain, once you're rid you'll have peace and the place to yourself. Priceless.

Dear OP, no need to ruminate. The situation is clear, you are not happy in this relationship, period. Weather or not this is "normal" is beside the point, it is not normal or acceptable to you. Sit him down and tell him it is over. It is that simple. Good luck and keep us posted.