How do you know?

[Alan81]

How do you know when you are ready to let someone new into your life?

In summary. I'm shortly coming up to 12 months since my previous 16yr relationship failed. In that time I have come a long way, focused on myself and my 2 boys who I have shared 50/50 parenting with my ex partner.

When I have my boys it's great, when I don't have them it can feel lonely, all my closest friends are settled in long term relationships/married with children it can be bloody hard arranging suitable time and occasions to hang out or go for a pint.

I've dipped my toe into online dating but yeah, less said about that the better lol

Just whenever you feel like doing so. I mean it's not like these things just happen. You could date for years and not find anyone you want to settle with. There's also no obligation to have any certain fixed kind of relationship. You could pursue something that's light and easy and doesn't involve merging homes or families.

Tbh after 16 years in a relationship, I'd be reluctant to rush into another. I'd provably focus on developing friendships, hobbies etc...

But it's your life, do what you feel like doing. Just make sure to keep yourself clued up on red flags and how to spot them. Dating after 17 years out of the loop can be a minefield.

You will just know. A very wise person told me it takes a month for every year of your relationship for you to grieve, recover and move on and i think they were right. Don't go looking for a long term relationship straight away, just date and see what comes of it. You need a bit of fun and a bit of freedom, the rest will follow. Enjoy

Thank you

I would probably get more comfortable being alone first. You don’t want to end up with the wrong person just because you don’t want to be alone. There’s something very liberating and self empowering about being happy and comfortable in your own company.

see your time when the kids are with your ex as your time to treat yourself. Take long baths, do you nails, binge a box set, start reading books (Lisa Jewel thrillers are good) go for walks, take up a dance/exercise class. Don’t be scared to go out for coffee/to the cinema alone!