Honestly don't really know where to start with this.
I've been with my partner 8 years. Engaged for 5.
Currently live in rented house with a dog and a baby on the way. We have almost bought our own house and are moving literally in the next couple of months.
I love my partner. I absolutely want the best for him and us. I really want us to work out.
We have highs- and when we do they are amazing. He is so loving, caring, always boosting my confidence, has a great sense of humour etc. But we also have terrible lows where we just can't agree on anything, blazing arguments, feeling like we're not on the same page all the time.
It feels like we are opposites in so many ways. I'm health conscious, slim (well, I was before I was pregnant!). He eats unhealthily and is obese which has caused me anxiety and has brought a whole lot of issues of its own.
I find him lazy and lacking drive/motivation. There's no 'get up and go'. I've told him this. He doesn't organise his day or his time so he forgets to do things like walk the dog which is super important as she's a high energy breed, or schedule regular meals (snacks instead).
I tell him a chore needs doing, he has a go at me and says I'm trying to control him and he will do it in his own time, which leads to the dog being walked at 10pm in the dark, or the dog poo not bring cleaned up until tomorrow, or the dirty dishes and pans being left in the sink meaning I can't cook unless I wash them first.
His eating habits are out of control but he won't talk to me about it because he says I'm too harsh with him, even though I've told him they are directly affecting me too. He admits he probably has an eating disorder.
I had bulimia as a young teen so his eating habits are massively triggering for me, and I'm so tired of having to mentally just shut it out. He rarely eats in front of me though.
There's so, so much more but honestly you can probably understand my issues now.
I'm scared. I don't see this relationship working but I feel trapped. I'm in a job which I love, so moving absolutely isn't an option. I won't be able to afford the rent on my own with a baby and a dog. I'm about to enter a long mortgage agreement for our first home which is a huge commitment (although I've paid for all solicitors etc so far. Money is a whole other essay of its own). He will 100% take the baby off me and run if I tried to leave him, because he knows fathers have equal rights in law. I'm about to go on maternity so could move in with a relative about an hours drive away if needed but it would be a huge ask and I wouldn't know what to do on my return with the rental issues.
Thanks for reading... but what the heck should I do????
I don't feel there's anyone I can talk to about this irl because my family will obviously be biased and I just feel its so long and complicated to discuss it with friends (a two hour coffee date wouldn't cut it!)