Husband has always been ratty in the mornings I put it down to his daily weed habit that he wakes up feeling crap all the time and probably with no dopamine. I often wait for him to leave the house before I get out of bed because the presence of him is just horrible and its very easy for him to blame me for doing the smallest thing that has made him irritable and 'ruined his morning'. I feel so stuck that I cannot talk to the person I love every morning and if I say the wrong thing it is 'my fault' and 'I ruined a great mood' which is BS. I am trying to take the new approach that everyone is responsible for how they act, and they are in control of there own emotions/triggers - you can't always blame someone else.
Example (i am away with work at the moment)
ME: call me when you leave for work!
Him: Okay!
(1hour passes) ME: wasn't you leaving like an hour ago hahahah did you get back into bed hahah!
Him: Okay - keep your comments to yourself
Me: I only asked if you got into bed again haha
Him: Stop making comments its pretty simple
Me: Stop making an issue out of everything I say
Him: When you control your mouth and comments I will pretty simple
after this conversation I just come away feeling stupid and that I am not allowed to say anything that is on my mind. I feel confused and blame myself for now purposely starting an argument which I did not intentionally do.... I start to question my own judgement of how I act, that I am a problem? this happens daily. I truly didn't think making a joke about getting back in bed would deserve that reaction or would irritate someone that much. Now we are sat here not talking and he is probably getting on with his day thinking I started an argument and he has no part to play, and I am sitting here stressed and worried that I said the wrong things again, and am I to blame?
Funny thing is he can be as mean/sarcastic and negative as he wants but if I call him out on it 'i have taken it the wrong way' or I am 'crazy or sensitive' - shall I start just doing this back? If he says I have made him irritable just say its in his own head and its his problem? That is not in my nature but...
How can I make him see that he cannot keep blaming me for EVERY mood he is in - when I say that he only treats me this way he replies 'well no one else puts me in this mood'. I feel like hitting my head against a wall.. I have started trying to mirror his behaviour and make out he is causing a problem (like he does to me) like I did above, but again he just throws it back to me and says its what I said, but if he is mean and I say he is causing an issue he says its in my head - it is not in my nature but do I start calling him emotional too?!