Sister 30 and her husband live with my parents. Dad is on pension credit and pip. Mum gets basic pip . We agreed when her husband came and bills would be high she would pay half the bill. Husband came in January and takes an hour in the bath at various times of the day. He's unemployed but looking for a job.
Sister earns just over 40 grand and doesn't pay any rent. She pays for her basic shopping (luxuries she wants) but shares bread, flour etc. Its been like that for 7 years. Now she's paying for her and her husbands food. Just last year she paid 37 grand for a new car. Car got stolen and now has put 4 grand in plus insurance money to buy a new car.
I don't live with them but have caring responsibilities towards my parents with 3 young children. I sort all the bills out and keep the bank account in check, ring for appointments and some other things.
Now with the cost of living etc we decided she'd have to pay the bills especially since her husband is here too. Dad text her to say can you pay 500 pounds bill for gas electric and water (half the bill for this month). She messages to say are we really struggling and do I really need to? I said yes we are. Then ignores messages so I text her a week later to remind her and then 2 days later. Her response is please don't think I'll be paying every month I've lost a lot of money and have to get wages in before I can pay (a week earlier mentioned now that before she had over a 100 grand in the bank but with the purchase of the car and other things she only has 20 grand left. So I said that's fine can u pay gas every 3 months (half of it because that's the most expensive) she agrees and says I'll see what my situation is.
Behind the scenes she approaches our father and says can you ask her to send you ur bank statements. Elderly father whose mind isn't right and struggles with disabilities texts me saying can I have the bank statements. She lies and says father wanted to see 'where his money was going'. I've been managing his account for 20 years and show him when he asks but it's never been a problem.
Now instead of paying the bill she's made my father think I steal the money and can't do it with 3 kids. She wants to see how much money they have coming in and how much savings. I turned around and said fine I want to see your bank statements too.
Her panicking she texts me and says what are you talking about? I said I'll show you if you show me yours. She tried to get a reaction out of me by asking one word question like what? What do you mean? So I said I'm not wetting your knickers and giving you any reaction. She inturn started hysterically crying and showed my father. He inturn rings me and yells give me the accounts your disgusting you've said such disgusting things to you sister. This is the sister who told me get an abortion when I was pregnant. I'd happily give it but I've written in his benefit claims I manage the accounts because he can't. I pay the bills because he struggles. Sister won't do any of that. She just wants to use the account so she can hand out the money and not cough up her fair share. All because in 7 years she's been asked to pay the bills.
I feel like handing the account I've managed for 20 yearsish and rubbing my hands off them going no contact (all bank accounts bills etc) but I know my sister will land them in trouble. She won't move out until her husband is earning and won't cough up any money.
She pays for things she wants in the house like new carpets (nothing wrong with the older carpets and could have waited a few more years, decor, had bathroom updated for her husband). She pays for what she thinks needs replacing. Mum and dad get happy. But in arguments tells everybody I paid for this and I paid for that. No one asked you to love it's paying for unnecessary things. How about just pay for the bills.
Once my dad was angry he said she pays for small amounts of takeaway and expects me to be grateful. She inturn said to me what does he mean? Because I want him to clarify what he means?
She pushed him yesterday but he still has her back and would deny it. I think she'd take full advantage of him and bully him. She does bully him by joking and saying mum said you smell in front of her husband etc. but he always has her back. She's not pregnant too and my dad has a thing about not causing pregnant women any stress.