Choosing work over family

[Scrambledeggplant]

Me and dp have been together since 2016. He's self employed and we have a 15m old. Recently, I'd say for the last year he's started to become distant. He's absorbing himself in his work. There's a client on the phone pretty much all hours. I told him how I'm hurt and upset that we haven't done anything as a family (go out somewhere not just a trip to the supermarket) since LO was 2 months old. So a whole year since he's made time for us. We never see him, like literally. I broke down today and asked if we'll ever be a priority and he replied with a blunt "no". He's so incredibly stubborn and is the sort who wont listen to what he doesn't want to hear. But I'm finding it so hard to let go for some reason. I can't remember the last time he touched me which makes me so sad thinking about.

Will it ever get better? I just feel so lost..

OP, why do you just hand over power to men? You go into a relationship knowing what you want, but when you don't get it, instead of leaving, as should be the case, you just hang around anyway. No consequences, it looks like he can and does say anything, do anything he likes, and you do nothing. You are right, you accept crumbs, any tiny bit a man might give you - or nothing at all in this case.
You agree 3 years for marriage, but what was the point of that if 8 years later you are still there and had a baby since?
If you moved out you would at least get CM off him, but I don't see that you've got any get up and go when it comes to men, you just go along with whatever. This causes a lack of respect, he knows he can do anything now and you won't leave.
How does your disability affect the situation? It seems you are single-handedly looking after 2 children and also thinking of running a business, so in what ways are you incapable of work, or is the disability your other DC's?
2 things leap out, firstly start squirreling away every bit of spare cash you can as a safety net in case the time comes when you get the gumption to leave. Secondly, seek counselling, because the situation you find yourself in is largely of your own making, and its probably down to your childhood experiences. I suspect there is a lot to unpick from your past given that you are no contact.
The problem is, he could kick you out at any point, and may well do one day. Counselling might help to stop you clinging on until a man decides he's had enough, then dumps you. You need to learn to disengage instead of hankering after things you will never get from him. Plan for a future.