Should I say anything

[Jmx]

Posting on here cuz I always read for good advice and I need some more opinions.

Was out with some friends, some in the group I don't know too well, and one of the girls was talking about a guy she slept with. She showed a photo and I was shocked to see I recognise him...I know his girlfriend.

Straight away my first thought I have to tell her. If it was me I would want to know. I’ve been cheated in the past and give him another chance in hope he would change. Surprise surprise he cheated again and to make it worse I found out some people around me had knew all along. The thought that people could have saved me from the heartache, and if I hadn't found out I might have ended up staying with him, made me so angry. While I've moved on I still get unbelievably angry when I hear about liars and cheats. I hear so many stories women who waste years to guys like this and find out later down the line, I honestly don’t know how you could treat someone you’re suppose to love like that. Noone deserves to be treated that way last of all someone you love!

I'm fully aware some people have suspicions and rather ignore/not know, but she could be totally clueless. I'm going round in circles. They have a house, not married, no kids, recently holiday together, as far as I know things are good... she’s still young and gorgeous and got time to find someone better he’s nothing special… Suppose I’m just wondering if my own experience and feelings are causing me to react when I should just leave alone.
I’ve asked some other friends who don't know the couple and its pretty 50/50 split. Can’t ask my other half cuz he will just tell me to stay out of it and avoid the drama!

If you're sure, I would tell

She deserves to know the truth

* some in the group I don't know too well, and one of the girls was talking about a guy she slept wit*

classy

I'd of been trying to prize out of her further info as to how and when it came about, did you get some details ? Make sure she's not exaggerating or even lying before you dive in. Say what this other woman told you and let your friend make up her own mind if it could be true.

Are you sure it was the same guy? Did you recognise the photo from social media? Who's to say she wasn't lying? What details did she give about her encounter?
I'd want to know if you were sure, but as you don't know her very well, be wary.

Ew, why do you feel the need to pass judgement on that??! People sleep with people all the time and shock horror they tell their mates about it!

She showed the photo on whatsapp, it's definitely him, I didn't see the messages she just said they had been messaging a bit.
To be fair you make good point I don't know this person well, but why would someone make something like that up?! we were just girls chatting about what had gone on recently, surely there's no reason to lie. and how would she have his number?

She doesn't know that I know him and I didn't let on. To be honest after I saw the photo I was just a bit in shock and the conversation moved on. Since I wouldn't really catch up with her one on one I dont feel like I can message her to ask her more about it. Maybe I could somehow ask one of the other girls I don't know how I could bring it up without it seeming totally random.

Also never really occurred to me until just now but I wonder if she's still talking to him thinking that it could be something more. Makes me sick!

I’d tell her, especially if you have the pic and her admitting it on your group, you can just screenshot it and send it to her. I’d want to know if you were my friend

I would tell her

Do the decent thing and tell your friend, she could catch an std or worse and im sure most women would want to know it's then up to her how to respond. Good luck it's on him your the decent person here

I wouldn’t tell her. If you do she’ll stay with him anyway and stop speaking to you because you know what her partner is like.

It is a huge thing to inform someone who is an acquaintance, that their partner has been unfaithful. The consequences are potentially very very far reaching. I’m not sure I would stage an intervention [because if you tell her, thats what you are doing], based on a conversation as described above.
What I might do is [a] tell the woman in the pub that you know his girlfriend or [b] contact the man in question and tell him what you know and that ‘honesty is the best policy’ and ask when is he going to tell his partner about the affair?
Most people don't want to be deceived by another, but often the messenger is the one who is shot. It’s one thing for the deceived party to confront an unfaithful partner, it’s quite another thing to be told of the deceit by a friend who isn't really a bosom pal. Your own experience was horrible and of course it will shape your view as to how these things should be handled…..but I would wait a while longer and choose one of the other options first.

I’m assuming the girl who showed the picture doesn’t know the guy has a GF? The one thing I’d say, is to keep the girl anonymous if you believe your friend could potentially direct her rage towards her. This happens unfortunately and if she isn’t aware he is cheating, it’s unfair to to disclose her business. By all means, tell your friend her partner is being unfaithful, but I’d leave it at that.

Ask her to WhatsApp the photo to you saying I reckon I might know him, so and so's friend.

Then if you are sure tell your friend.

As for the classy comment, I'm guessing she's the virgin Mary 🙄

This. My best friend found out my DH was cheating on me as she was out in expensive restaurant for her own wedding anniversary and she saw DH arrive with OW and he was all over her. She was so upset she left shortly after and it ruined her evening. She came straight around to see me to tell me. She was crying when she told me. She was really worried I'd be angry with her and shoot the messenger, but no I was so grateful to her and I knew she hated telling me. It meant I divorced a cheat I'd otherwise probably still be unhappily married to. Knowing he had cheated on me gave me the licence to divorce him.

If there are no kids involved and they're not married, all the more reason to gently tell her now, before it gets more complicated.

You're a good friend.

Think about telling the other girl, too. She probably has no idea.

a) you didn’t really know this girl
b) she was talking about someone she’d slept with in a crowd of people she didn’t know well (if you didn’t know her well)
and
most importantly

she was showing a PHOTO of him around the group, as someone she’d slept.

Gross

how well do you know the girlfriend?

Absolutely tell her. She’s not bloody married to him. She has an ‘easier’ route out now, it’s far harder to leave years down the line with kids and financial responsibilities.

If she shoots the messenger I’d not give a monkeys, I’d know if done the right thing by her.

The number of people who would leave a friend oblivious to their partners nasty abusive cheating always amazes me! Thank goodness I can be sure my friends would tell me!

People will say don't tell her, not your Circus and monkeys.
But I wish people told me.

She hasn't had kids with him yet. If she truly doesn't know she may cut her loses with him. I understand OP as I have been through similar and you get over it but the anger of no one saying anything and you feeling like a mug is harder to get over.

I would tell her .

I was grateful when a woman my ex cheated on me with reached out and told me . Saved me wasting time on that shitty relationship.

Tell her 100%