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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

why wont she let me walk away

11 replies

catmomma67 · 18/03/2024 18:43

My youngest sister hates me.. theres been a love hate relationship our entire lives. no matter what i do in life, i am never good enough. i have mobility issues, but as far as she is concerned, i'm fine and her issues are much worse! if i share holiday photo's.. her holiday was bigger, better.. if i share my childrens accomplisments, im attention seeking.. every relationship i have ever had and shes tried her hardest to; sleep with, steal away and generally sabotage. I've had enough and have decided its time to draw a line and walk away.. i've tried not replying to her messages, so she posted nasty comments on my social media, so i removed her from my social media. she sends snide messages to me, saying for example.. 'night night, off to sleep now, surprise surprise no reply from you again'. she has sent messages to my children via their social media telling them what a bad person i am. I don't want to have to block her.. it all seems petty, she clearly doesnt like or want me in her life, but she simply wont let me walk away too

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 18/03/2024 18:45

Just go NC with her and block her, then you won't see any of her posts.

Daleksatemyshed · 18/03/2024 19:41

Ignore her Op, she wants you to react, it spoils her fun when you don't fight back. Sadly you may be adults now but she's still reacting like a child
.

80s · 18/03/2024 20:59

she has sent messages to my children via their social media telling them what a bad person i am
Maybe she has mental health issues?

TheShellBeach · 18/03/2024 22:48

80s · 18/03/2024 20:59

she has sent messages to my children via their social media telling them what a bad person i am
Maybe she has mental health issues?

Or maybe she isn't a very nice person.

Anyway, OP - just block her.

80s · 19/03/2024 10:35

TheShellBeach · 18/03/2024 22:48

Or maybe she isn't a very nice person.

Anyway, OP - just block her.

Obviously; so much so that I didn't think it needed pointing out. To me, that sentence stood out, suggesting to me that it's more than just her being bitchy; doing something that will hurt her nieces/nephews makes her seem unhealthily impulsive, irrational and disinhibited. Maybe if I'd used the word "unhinged" you'd have reacted differently. Just because I used a neutral term rather than a mental health slur doesn't mean I am downplaying the behaviour or saying the OP should react differently.

catmomma67 · 19/03/2024 10:43

80s · 19/03/2024 10:35

Obviously; so much so that I didn't think it needed pointing out. To me, that sentence stood out, suggesting to me that it's more than just her being bitchy; doing something that will hurt her nieces/nephews makes her seem unhealthily impulsive, irrational and disinhibited. Maybe if I'd used the word "unhinged" you'd have reacted differently. Just because I used a neutral term rather than a mental health slur doesn't mean I am downplaying the behaviour or saying the OP should react differently.

im not gonna lie... i do think there is an elemet of MH issues. its just really hard, with it being family. I know what i need to do... its just really hard.. i guess a little part of me wants it to be ok.. buts it not going to be ever and thats a hard pill to swallow

OP posts:
80s · 19/03/2024 10:52

I'd personally also get the kids to block her. Once someone's blocked, you simply have your peace and quiet. It's not being petty; you're not doing it out of spite, just for a more peaceful life. And it might be better for her, too, if there's no contact on SM.
Are you likely to see her IRL, e.g. on family occasions?

BMW6 · 19/03/2024 12:06

You are never, ever, going to have a normal (let alone loving) sisterly relationship with her.

For your sake AND your children's drop the rope. Block her from all devices and sever all communications.

She's trying to hurt you and yours. Stop her.

catmomma67 · 19/03/2024 19:12

i just want to say thank you! from the few responses i got, it has made me more confident that this behaviour is not normal 'sibling' stuff and even though i said i would never do it.. i am going to block her. I've spoken to my kids (they are actually both adults) and made it clear they can make their own decisions about her.. and they both, without hesitation told me they had blocked her...

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 19/03/2024 19:50

Well done!
I've blocked both my sisters!

Lollypop701 · 19/03/2024 19:55

If she lets you walk away who else can she punish or blame when she feels shit? You are her punchbag… walk (run) away with head held high

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