Is this weaponised incompetence?

[Siamiam]

Dp often works from home in our small flat. He likes to do so without wearing headphones and has a loud voice. I am often in the next room and suffice to say it can be annoying. And very loud…

I asked him to buy headphones which he did, a couple of weeks ago. But has now told me he doesn’t understand how to connect them up. They are Bluetooth, he is an educated professional: it’s not impossible

i have told him I can help but would need to google it, same as him. More importantly, why is it so hard

Buy him a cheap pair that plug into the laptop - simple. Then you can test out the theory that he simply doesn’t want to use them.

you don’t seem to like this man. Let alone love him.

I do love him but this is really getting to me!

You don't sound like you like him very much.
Relationships aren't obligatory you know.

Tell him he needs to sort this out or work in the office then. You're entitled to hear yourself think in your own home. Tbh it's not going to fix his booming voice if he wears headphones. I'd be inclined tell him couples need time apart and i was finding him working from home so much a bit smothering. Tolerance of too much annoyance will kill the relationship.

Poor bloke trying to earn a living.

Go for a run or put the vacuum cleaner on.

Yeah he can’t be bothered. Selfishness/laziness.

Why you are not able to raise this OP, on here, without getting shot down and be told you dont like you partner is beyond me, and to go out for a run.

This is your joint space. If he is required to work from home then he needs to consider his surroundings as this is a HOME setting by the sounds of things, small flat etc, your joint space.

This has zero to do with not liking or loving your partner. Its about respectin each others spaces and how you utilise it.

Does he have access to an office? Or is this his business with no office?

It’s either weaponised incompetence or he’s as thick as mince. You know him better than us.

I’m educated and I don’t understand Bluetooth either

Why can't he read the instructions fgs?
He just doesn't want to do it. But frankly, I would do it - and then bring up his uselessness at every available opportunity...

This is how to fix this.

Chose a chore that’s yours eg if it’s your turn to cook dinner , serve and wash up afterwards , tell him that if he does that, you will spend that hour fixing up his headphones.

it has to be some chore that will take WAY longer than downloading and app and pairing the device.

Mosy headsets are plug and play but like anything to do with technology, when it doesnt work how you expect it can be a real faff.

I'd just see if i could get them to work as a one off but i dont think this is going to solve the problem as it wont make his voice any quieter

The thing is, working from home is exactly that - he is working from her home, she has not moved into his office. It doesn't sound as though the flat is large enough for him to comfortably work from home.

If the OP should overhear something important and / or confidential (because he won't use headphones), is she required to keep it a secret? She doesn't work for his company and whatever she has overheard has been broadcast to her in her home.

How would him wearing headphones make his loud voice quieter?

Doesn't sound like weaponised incompetence. Sounds more like he just doesn't want to wear them.

I’ve told Dp he needs to go into
office 2-4 times a month. It’s too much.

I do think the Bluetooth drama is WI on his part. Get him wired headphones, don’t faff about fake teaching him to do the simplest Thing. Keep the Bluetooth headphones for yourself.

I'm 72 and I managed it. He's an idiot

Get onto Vinted & buy him a Plantronics headset. They plug into that laptop & work straight away. They have a microphone for making calls. They work with almost any software.

https://www.vinted.co.uk/items/4040597228-plantronics-headset?referrer=catalog