I have NC for this as outing.
Back story: I have a younger sibling who lives in a different country. DS has a history of mental health problems and has struggled in the last years with parenthood and other things. I also have small children.
in the last years I have often traveled to their country or our parent’s country to see them at great cost and of course it’s also exhausting to travel. DS says it’s too hard for them to travel with small children. (Mine are roughly the same age).
generally I found that DS only contacts me when they have a problem/mental health crisis and had made no effort to visit (money not the problem). I found that DS had very little interest in my life, my children but always expected me to be available for their problems.
after another call where DS only talked about their life and their problems, I sent a nice message saying that I loved them and cared for them but wished they would put more effort into our relationship and it felt one sided to me.
since then, DS is ignoring me (this was about a year ago). I sent xmas presents to the children and a card and got nothing back. The spouse said thank you. My kids don’t get a message or card for their birthdays. I got no text on mine. I sent a text on their birthday and no reply.
I saw them at family events and a funeral and they ignore me and leave the room when I enter.
I feel really hurt by this and don’t know where to go from here. I don’t think my message was harsh, I said I loved them a lot and cared for them but struggled with this relationship as it seems they only get in touch to offload their problems.
I thought we could have a conversation but never imagined this.