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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Trying to move on

5 replies

Tosca505 · 17/03/2024 16:59

Hi Mumsnetters

Long time lurker seeking advice.

I was in a situationship where we developed strong feelings for each other but it spiralled over the course of a couple of weeks. We had a sensitive conversation which he seemed fine with at the time, but afterwards he withdrew and started giving me mixed signals, blowing hot and cold.

And even when 'hot', I could see he was withholding -- not being honest about what was troubling him and looking for reasons to go 'cold'. When I raised it with him (in a nice way), he didn't want to share and also seemed unattuned about how his behaviour was coming across.

Just towards the end, he also started expressing discontentment with other aspects of his life that he previously seemed happy with.

I ended it when I realised that he was going back on the dating app - this crossed a boundary for me, as he should have told me. When I called it out, he blocked me.

I do find myself brooding over what happened. Any tips for how to get myself back in the frame of mind for dating again?

OP posts:
TwylaSands · 17/03/2024 17:04

How long were you seeing him? How many dates had you been on?

Yoe · 17/03/2024 17:12

First of all give yourself a pat on the back you are from what I have read pa strong person who is not willing to put up with games ( even if the other person doesn’t realise that’s what their doing) .
calling it a day cos he went back on dating apps was the right thing to do you don’t want that crap or drama in your life and deserve much more .
re dating you had to kiss a frog … kick him to the kerb and simply move on . Your going to meet the good the bad and the ugly but for sure when the time is right a special person will be there for you. If you don’t date you won’t meet them so get going and enjoy every minute

Original poster
Tosca505 · 17/03/2024 17:21

TwylaSands · 17/03/2024 17:04

How long were you seeing him? How many dates had you been on?

Hi, it was 2-3 months, a date every week and lots of video calls and text messaging in between. Am thinking I need to take things a bit more slowly in future.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tosca505 · 17/03/2024 17:22

Yoe · 17/03/2024 17:12

First of all give yourself a pat on the back you are from what I have read pa strong person who is not willing to put up with games ( even if the other person doesn’t realise that’s what their doing) .
calling it a day cos he went back on dating apps was the right thing to do you don’t want that crap or drama in your life and deserve much more .
re dating you had to kiss a frog … kick him to the kerb and simply move on . Your going to meet the good the bad and the ugly but for sure when the time is right a special person will be there for you. If you don’t date you won’t meet them so get going and enjoy every minute

Thanks Yoe, what I needed to hear :)

OP posts:
TwylaSands · 17/03/2024 17:26

Tosca505 · 17/03/2024 17:21

Hi, it was 2-3 months, a date every week and lots of video calls and text messaging in between. Am thinking I need to take things a bit more slowly in future.

Show quote history

Absolutely. Sounds like you met up 10 times.

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