Ghosted by best friend 9 years back

[YourNewReader]

Hi,

I had a best friend and she ghosted me 9 years back. I invited her to 4 wedding functions of mine but could not invite her to the last event. Last event is not the main event btw. It was more like an after party for my relatives that flew down for the wedding. She got extremely hurt over this and decided to end our 12 years of friendship. I couldn't reach her by phone so I messaged her on social media saying that I am sorry if I hurt her unintentionally. She never replied back and deleted me. Later, I could not find her on social media. It has been over 10 years now and I can see her on social media now. Do I message her saying my side of the story and apologize again ?

No, I wouldn’t contact her. Nine years is a long time and you both should have moved on with your lives by now.

Goodness no. Write her off. Whatever you did, she's done worse by blanking you. Stop dwelling on the wedding stuff and factor in the 9 years of her cutting you dead. Accept that it's over and move on.

I'm wondering what would make you want to get in touch now, OP ... ?
You could contact her, of course, but be prepared for her not to answer. People move on.
And I don't think you need to beat yourself up for what happened 12 years ago. You tried to apologise, but it wasn't accepted. I don't know the details of your relationship, but maybe there were strains that you weren't aware of. Sometimes when you reflect on a situation from the past, you realise that it wasn't exactly as you thought it was at the time.

My dear you know sometimes you have to let people go … you did all you could … you already said sorry … you don’t need a friendship where your walking on eggshells to someone’s emotional sensitivities . A friend ghosted me because I hadn’t told her I was engaged in a timely manner I realised she wasn’t a friend and moved on … we never spoke since and you know it was her decision and I accepted that .. sometimes we are friends for short or long periods and then some last some don’t

wow. Thank you for this. She had some major insecurity where she told me when I was engaged that if I changed after marriage then it would affect her bad mentally. We were literally each others closest friends and were each others support system. I was initially upset at her but thought maybe should try contacting one last time. I feel it is hard to find a friend as good as your old high school friend. I am just not able to form that bond.

That's tough and it sounds like she had much bigger issues than this fourth event. That was just the final straw/flashpoint for her to withdraw, for her own well being by the sounds of it. Perhaps the sudden nature of it and the long absence has led you to romanticise what you had, as can happen with looking back on your youth, but in reality the bond wasn't so strong and she didn't feel the same as she broke it and hasn't looked back. You can't be comparing new friendships to this one. Better to build new ones more likely to last than one so ultimately dysfunctional that she couldn't cope with you happily marrying.

Op, the fact your asking if you should message her means you probably want to. Yes 9 years is a long time but that doesn't always mean you can't reach out. There's no right or wrong here.. It's about your personal feelings on the matter not what we think. If you can prepare for her not responding or if she sends a rude message back ( you never know what ppl might say or do) then I'd go for it. Good luck if you do. X

I was ghosted by my best friend, we were friends for ten years since school, then she just stopped all contact, still don’t know why as we never fell out. I just had to let it go in the end, but it ate me up for a while.

OP

Please let it go and move on.

sorry wrong psot