Sgo

[Cathy901]

I currently have sgo and he calls his birth mum mummy (her name) and refers to me as mummy she's now asking me to correct him he's almost 5 and been in my care since he was 3 days old. I don't want him to feel like I'm rejecting him by saying no my names is (my name) he's aware he wasn't in my tummy ect I've never forced him to call me mummy but never stopped him calling me mummy either if that's what he's comfortable with do I stop him calling me mummy??

Apologies but what is an SGO?

Is he adopted? Fostered? I'm gathering it's something like that...

No, you allow lo to call you and bm what he is comfortable with.
lo clearly knows he has a bm but lives with you. It’s right to be honest and upfront with lo, but bm cannot dictate this.
what is right for lo is what is right to do 👍

SGO is special guardianship Order, it’s a bit like fostering within the family (doesn’t have to be family, can be friends, or foster carers), it’s a way of giving children permanence in their home but still knowing or maintaining contact with birth family/ parents.

Thanks for clarifying.

I'd be led by the child - and explain kindly to the birth mum.

From the childs perspective you do the role of the other mummy's they sees so it makes sense that you're a mummy. As they get older they might also want to say mummy because calling you by a different title marks them out as different to their peers and can result in uninvited questions.
As long as the child knows that they've got another mummy who carried them and who they are etc I would let it be led by the child.

I think making your ds change what he calls you would only cause unnecessary upset.
His bio dm should be putting the dc’s needs first.

It needs to be child lead so tell her that you won't be changing anything.

Me and my husband are going through a SGO assessment for our grandson and have been asked to provide our current employers details so they can obtain references. What do they ask and does anyone know why they need them as my current boss doesn’t know me well enough to comment on our ability to look after him. TIA