I'm struggling

[Mum2two2022]

Hi ladies,

I need to rant before I lose it.

I am really struggling to connect with my husband at the moment. We have 2 kids I work full time (from home) he has been self employed for 6 months which has been a sh*t show.

My husband is awful with money literally the worst had his own company and it went tits up he got into a lot of debt and fobbed a lot of people off and his parents bailed him out to put the company into liquidation last year. We struggled and are struggling now financially and it's all down to his own stupidity and I cannot take it anymore.

He lies about money 24/7 to the point he says he's waiting on an invoice we cannot pay out bills so my family bail us out for months he will say they still haven't paid then when it clearly gets too much for him he tells me he spent the money. This has happened more times I can count and now I feel like I cannot take the crap anymore. I owe my parents thousands because of him. He lies all the time about money, cannot tell me where the money is.
Fobs people off 24/7. Has no compassion for his own actions on others.

I told him before Christmas I am not putting up with this anymore get proper job 9-5 employed otherwise we are done cause I cannot keep trying to hold everything together my wages only stretch as far as they can plus paying childcare.

He didn't even bother looking so I did and he finally got a job and starts next week.

But I feel so resentful, I'm disappointed in myself that I have stayed this long and I think it's purely cause of the kids.

But I look at him and feel disgust, I do EVERYTHING practically a single mum at this point cause he does nothing.
I wake up early, breakfast kids ready pick and drop them off to nursery. Work all day do dinner washing bath times lunches everything. I don't get a break. Then have to deal with him crap on top. I feel like I am snappy 24/7 but I just don't even know anymore. I'm struggling massively

Leave you would be much much better off without him.

You have one life.

Blimey, not surprised you are and your wits end here OP.

You dont own him a future. And your kids would be totally fine if you decided to go. Yes they would be sad obviously but they would be better off in the long term as this is teaching them all the wrong things at present on how relationships should be. I am sure I will get shot down on here for saying this to you but you need to take care of your financial future and your DCs.

If he is not coming clean on his finances now, he will not do so once he starts getting a pay cheque. It says a lot when a man drags his parents, spouse and inlaws into his financial derail and lack of responsibility and transparency. Its very telling where his thinking is at present, and it may not resolve for years while he recovers form the ego dive seeing his company go bust. But most men experiencing this will find a job, provide, resolve and made do, but you OH clearly is being selfish now.

You do not own him your financial security and devotion.

I say take care of you, your kids and let him go.