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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

AIBU to think my partner has no time for me

7 replies

Annymania · 15/03/2024 20:15

Example: he helps his dad redo his flat all the time which I appreciate because it’s his dad and he’s not very well and a bit old and that. I really like his dad. But we’ve been supposed to move in together since the end of last year but haven’t because he hasn’t cleaned and fixed and tidied the flat. Even yesterday he said he’s get the new cooker ‘tomorrow’. You carry heavy things across London for your dad but can’t keep the same energy to fix our flat?

the other one just happened now: he rarely sees me and our son, maybe twice a week or so for a few hours. He’s CONSTANTLY walking his neighbour’s dog though. And she lives fairly close to me. You have time to go to the park with a dog twice a day but don’t have time to go with your son once a week? He barely knows this old lady. I texted this to him (more politely) and his reply was just ‘you’re not jealous of the dog are you?’ Which I think was gaslighting and mocking.
He’s supposed to be doing our flat but every time I talk to him, he’s never there, always with his dad. It’s not going to fix itself. I feel like I come last with everything.

OP posts:
Whattodowithit88 · 15/03/2024 20:19

And you’re still with him because….?

Annymania · 15/03/2024 20:33

I asked him to come out with us and he said he might bring the dog 🙄 how can I say no dog without it sounding like I’m jealous of the dog!? 😂

OP posts:
NewIcedC0ffee · 16/03/2024 01:44

His actions speak louder than his words

It looks like he is avoiding you moving in together

Joy69 · 16/03/2024 09:10

You are not a priority. Start to make a life without him, you will feel a lot calmer this way. There's nothing worse than expecting something to happen & it doesn't. Eventually other things will come along that he has to do on top of what you have already listed.
I learnt this the hard way & should have left sooner. Good luck whatever you decide

Annymania · 16/03/2024 15:22

Thank you yes I think he doesn’t want us to move in

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 16/03/2024 15:36

Annymania · 16/03/2024 15:22

Thank you yes I think he doesn’t want us to move in

I'm sorry, but no shit, Sherlock. You have a child with this man? Good grief. Op, please, once and for all take your blinders off and finally admit that your child's father, (I won't say partner because he's obviously not), will never live with you. It honestly could not possibly be clearer.

Stop wasting your life on a man who isn't even remotely bothered.

Foxblue · 16/03/2024 15:53

I'm a bit confused - so he's helping his dad with his flat, but then you have a flat together that neither of you are living in? Or does he live in that flat?
How long have you been together - how badly does the flat need doing?

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