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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why does DH do this - argue some opposing viewpoint because he doesn't want to make any effort

2 replies

Mamma53547 · 15/03/2024 19:27

I just need to rant. He ALWAYS does this, which is really upsetting when it's about something serious about DS.

DS has very complex SEN, lots and lots of issues, and his diet has become a bit restricted. His GP asked about his weight and tbh I hadn't been monitoring closely, so I told DH we should measure it more regularly. DH huffed and started complaining about how all we do is worry and make DS do stuff. OF COURSE BECAUSE HE HAS COMPLEX SEN AND AT THE MOMENT NOTHING IS GOING RIGHT!

If it was a one-off stupid remark I'd let it go, but he always does this, argue back a point that I don't think he even fully believes, just because he doesn't want to make the effort. It's not like he even has to do anything as I am going to monitor his weight regardless.

He's a lovely dad to DS, he does take the day to day things seriously. But it's like he's trying to parent a different child sometimes, like he's still in some sort of denial. I feel I like can't talk to or tell DH about anything serious because the fake argument that comes out of him is useless and exhausting. I called him out on it before and he apologised and said he'd try harder, but he's just done it again.

God help me, why? It's already so hard with a SEN child without having to argue about the obvious stuff.

OP posts:
Mamma53547 · 15/03/2024 19:27

I'm just unhappy. I feel very alone in all of this.

OP posts:
Wingslikeabird · 15/03/2024 21:22

I'm very sorry to read this. I don't really have any advice for you but I didn't want to read and run. Could you and your husband try some family therapy maybe? It must be be very stressful raising a child with complex needs and I don't think it's unusual for people to have different coping mechanisms that clash a bit. Hopefully this will bump your thread for you. Wishing you all the best.

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