I feel awful writing this as I know lots of people have it worse but I just feel so unappreciated after mothers day and I actually feel a little heartbroken. I feel like I've truly seen how little my partner thinks of me. Am I just being ungrateful?
We have 2 children - DD who is 3 next month, and DS who is 9 weeks old. Last week DP and I went out and picked mothers day gifts for our mums together and cards for them, I spent 2 days last week painting cards for Nanny and Grandma with both children and making tissue paper flowers to go with the vases we picked for them. My partner wrote in his mums card, wrapped all her stuff and sent it off.
Mother's day rolls around and literally while I'm sat in bed holding our DS my partner starts rustling around in the cupboard, finds a gift bag that literally said my name love from 2 other children (I used to work in nurseries and this was clearly from a gift that had been bought for me from back then). He then goes to his side of the bed and in my plain view pulls out a packet of socks that I know full well he bought for me in November (I assume for Christmas or my birthday but had been forgotten about), puts them in the bag and then gives the bag to my daughter to give to me. All of this in front of me. She's a toddler and has just been given a shiny bag so of course she's playing with it rather than giving it to me, it's clear she has no idea what this is all about, what's in the bag etc etc. I literally just felt like there was no thought about me whatsoever. I feel so unappreciated for everything I do as a mum. He asked me a couple of weeks ago if there was anything I wanted for mothers day (I said cake). He sent of his mums present. He knew the day was coming and he had done nothing about it.
He later ran out to his car and came back with a little ring that he said my daughter picked, so I was touched by this, although it didn't fit me and had gems missing I places, and I don't understand why he couldn't have brought it in the house the night before or anything so I didn't feel like an after thought. His mum called and wished me a happy Mother's day and asked if I'd got nice cards and I had to say I hadn't got a card, which I then think prompted him to taking DD off with him while I was showering (although she was reluctant to do this) and making me a card. It was a nice card to, but he used a picture I'd got printed off of my 2 babies together that I wanted to frame and again just showed he'd put no forward thinking into it.
He later suggested we go for a walk to the beach but DD really doesn't like the beach during winter and literally screamed to go back the entire time last time we tried it. She doesn't like the noisy wind. I reminded him of this, so he chose somewhere different, then at the end said there's a cafe shall we go for coffee and cake (5mins before the cafe shut). Then as we were going in, he disappeared to put the dog in the car and sent me in to get the coffee and cake, so in fact it ended up being my treat to him.
I literally just feel so unvalued. I didn't want to talk to him about it as I knew he would throw it back in my face but I just feel like what's the point of all I do if it's so unseen. It's one day a year that he could just say thank you. I did end up telling him how I felt yesterday and as expected he just turned it on me, had a go at me and said sarcastically "I'm sorry you didn't like your presents."
I have been struggling with PPD a bit since having DS so maybe this is all in my head, and I don't know what I wanted but to feel like I was thought of was really the minimum. I know he got me things so I feel awful for feeling this way and like I'm just being spoilt. I know there are mums out there who wouldn't have got anything so maybe I should just be thankful.