How to peddle back from overwhelming new man

[ChersHandbag]

So I’ve been seeing an old friend very tentatively for a while. We’re slowly getting close but still very casual. He left a bit of a longer gap in our meetings than usual and that coincided with me having a bit of a rough time… anyway I messaged him far too much and was probably quite overwhelming and maybe even sounded cross that he wouldn’t come over. I feel better now and — bless him — he’s still been texting me back. But what shall I do to begin putting things right? I know I’ve really pushed it. Shall I actually not text for a bit? Help me, he’s a great one.

Hmmm, I would say give him space to text first. And see how often he does.
If he backs down or doesn’t do this often then he is probably not that much into you. Which is fine, it’s not possible for everyone to like us. Enjoy it while it lasts and If it doesn’t work then there are loads of wonderful men out there who would be a lot into you. Expand your horizons, open your eyes :)

Well first of all, who decides that you've texted too much or have been overwhelming? Who is the judge of that?
Maybe you have been overwhelming, but I also hear so many women feel ashamed because they had emotional needs and have expressed those needs to a man in their life, only to be called dramatic, needy, clingy, etc.
So who or what gave you the idea that the texts you sent were overwhelming or too much?

If you were actually just feeling emotional, going through a rough time, and had hoped for this man's support, but didn't receive it and even ended up feeling like you were in the wrong for asking this support in the first place, then I'd reconsider the whole relationship.
If you were overwhelming and texting way too much, then I'd call for transparency. Have an open conversation with him about how you've felt, why you ended up texting him that much, ask how it must have felt for him to deal with that, and what you both need going forward. Because if this is a pattern for you and you tend to bombard people with your needs when you're feeling down, then it's bound to happen again and it's best to have it out in the open already.

You are in the early stages, which should be filled with light-hearted fun. So if you offloaded to him about troubles you were having at the time, that could be why there has been a gap, nobody wants to become someone's counsellor in the early stages and oversharing troubles can put a person off.
Put your troubles to bed, move on from discussing them, a new man is not the person to be seeking support from - ask friends or family for that.
Let him start conversation and keep it lighthearted for a while. Either he will be relieved that you seem back on track, or he won't get past it -you will find out Either way in time. Don't apologise or explain, as that is just perpetuating discussion around it again. Change tack, by changing the subject. If he brings it up, a breezy " yea, I went through a time, but all sorted now", should suffice.

try and genuinely remove the focus on him op - keep yourself busy with other things - fake it til you make it. You need to reduce your emotional dependance on his texts etc.

It sounds like you are have got a bit over clingy - work hard to disengage yourself from emotional reliance here - remember that's about you not really about him.

So you’ve been seeing each other for a while, and you needed some support during a difficult period? Why do you think you overwhelmed him - did he refuse to meet up, was he not able to offer genuine support? Maybe the issue is him.

Yes it’s not the first time we’ve been through difficult things, we’re very old friends, so it’s a funny situation. I am grateful to the posters who suggest I didn’t do anything wrong, even was let down. That might be true, but he’s very special to me and I want to keep him around a bit to see what’ll happen. Yes, I’ll stop being dependent on his texts. I really recognise that.

If he's an old friend surely he knows you?

Honestly he sounds a bit wet.

I would text as normal if you still want to and have a go at talking to him when you see him but really he sounds a bit wet. It sounds like he might have supported a bit more on the friendship side, parking the relationship bit for a moment.