Where does first sex usually take place?

[Jumzy]

Not originally from the UK so there is a bit of culture difference for me. I am finally separated from my serial cheater husband and have met a lovely gentleman who has been very kind and wonderful. He is taking things really slow, but I just want to prepare ahead of time.

Where does first sex usually happen? I have children and I wouldn't want to bring him to my house at all or let him meet the children until we are very sure about the relationship and have been dating for a good while.

Is it normal to have sex at the man's house? Or does it usually happen in a hotel? Sorry I really don't know how it works here and just want to plan ahead before we get to that stage.

Thank you mums

In your situation, at their house, unless you happened to be away for a weekend. Is there a reason you would think not their house?

I really don’t think it needs to be over thought about. If you were to book a night away or a weekend away I guess it would happen there but it would also happen at his house if you both wanted. It doesn’t need to be prepared for or planned down to a t

There aren't really any hard and fast rules about this in the UK. If you don't want to take him back to yours and you feel safe to do so, then go to his place. Have fun!

For me it was always at my house. It feels as if I am in more control. Are your children never with their father?

With me and DH it was in the back of his car! (Many years ago!)

I'd be worried about him secretly recording it if it was at his house!

It's usually been my house, but with one his house. Another in the garden summerhouse at a mutual friend's place where we met. I'm well classy...

If you don't know him very well I don't think I'd feel safe going back to his place. I'd prefer a hotel.

I’d be very careful not to go back to his place. As another poster upthread has mentioned, you lose a certain kind of control and, you don’t know if he is filming. Home or neutral ground is preferable.

Harrod's

I don't think this needs to be planned. It should come very naturally and if the moment presents itself and you feel comfortable then just go with the flow. Like others, I think for the first time, I'd prefer neutral ground. My first time with my now husband was at my home where I felt comfortable, although it wasn't planned. There is no UK culture. People just do it where they want - hotels, each others houses, cars, fields etc! It's however you feel comfortable. Have fun.

Ah! the olden days, 1970s. Ford Cortinas were very popular. More room in older cars.

@kkloo If you think the person you're seeing would record you having sex without your knowledge/consent, I would strongly advise not sleeping with them anywhere!

Usually from behind

I am always cautious as can be, but a lot of people on here seem to sleep with men by the 3rd date at the latest so they generally don't know them that well at all.

No judgement about that. I'm just saying that that is a risk if they go to the mans house, in response to the poster who asked the OP "is there a reason you would not think their house?".

It's risky either way, if it's your house they know your address, if it's theirs they could record and at either house you could be assaulted but such is the world we live in for women unfortunately 😢

Gosh I have never had sex the first time with anyone at a hotel, I’m would feel like some kind of escort tbh! Sounds odd to me. Usually at his or mine but I have children now so also wouldn’t be my house as I wouldn’t invite a man here I hadn’t known for a very long time regardless of my kids being here or not

My DH's car (at the time) was a Ford Capri! Not quite so much room but we managed! 😆

Yeah, having sex for the first time (in a hotel) is a bit weird. It feels like people meeting in hotels are doing so because they're having an affair, or - as you said - it's like you're an escort. OR it's like you have met someone online, and are meeting up for random sex with said stranger!

I’ve had sex for the first time with someone at my place, at their place, in an hotel and even behind a restaurant in the Tuileries Gardens in Paris on a summer’s eve. Thats probably just slighly less classy than your summerhouse @EBearhug .

@SabreIsMyFave - speaking of Paris, l once enjoyed a celebration long ago in a 2CV. At least there wasn’t a gear stick in the way.

lt all depends where you are when the passion takes over.

And OP, smart women in these situations carry condoms.

glad it’s not just me didn’t want to offend anyone with my escort comment as that was putting it politely but it feels far too “arranged” for my liking.

With dh we were very drunk, had a snog and went back to his house the first night. I kind of knew him but we weren’t going out,
it was meant to be a ONS. 22 years later…
Before him it was just wherever we happened to be - houses, cars, alleyway… 🫣

I think this is a bit extreme. Where did you meet this man OP? How many dates have you been on? There are no rules in the UK however as a mother dating... I do think its wise to visit the man's house and see how he lives and so on...

Visit his house yes - but maybe first time in daylight with no expectations of sex.

I don't drink, and I would usually drive so that I can leave quickly of necessary.

I think I’d be much more comfortable in my own home, with the kids away for the night.

Is that what all men arw doing, secretly filming sex?