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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationship with sister has changed...

1 reply

abblo · 11/03/2024 16:59

So DSis and I are 2 years apart. I am younger. We didn't really get on as kids and fought a lot but as young adults we reconnected, spent time together going out, went on holiday with our other halves etc; and since then it's been lovely to have her as a friend and a sister. I would always say though I have felt she uses me as her bench mark, I guess how can you not when you have a younger sister doing all similar things to you?

Anyway, I had my DD back in 2018, and around this time Dsis started trying for a baby with my BIL around the time she was born. It took them over a year to fall pregnant and obviously it was very stressful for them but they were very open about it and it was never a private subject. Unfortunately it's not certain if they can ever have another DC but not impossible,

When they fell pregnant it was honestly one of the best days of my life I was so happy they finally got what they wanted, 9 months later my nephew was born who I love very much.

Anyway, since then I have had a 2nd DC and had a little boy who's now 7 months, I was thrilled when I found out we were going to have one of each and so happy my boy would have a big boy cousin, but when I shared this news with my sister I got the vibe she wanted me to have a girl.. I wasn't expecting this at all but I put down to her feeling like my baby would take away from her son given they were both boys, with regards to grandparents or something like that, but I let it drop and have never considered even bringing it up.

Anyway, since my DS has been born she has withdrawn from me. Her texts are very blunt and she doesn't keep the conversation going, when I see her she seems distant. I'm really starting to feel upset by this now as I don't feel she has shown much of an interest in my sons life but at the same time I appreciate she may be struggling with the fact she may not be able to have another.

Has anyone else been in this position or in my sisters position? Are you able to help me see it from her eyes a little more?

OP posts:
InvalidCrumb · 11/03/2024 17:18

Possibly, it's hard to say. If her child has started school maybe she gets all her 'child chat' from the school mums and can't be arsed with it again!

Weirdly I had this exact thing with a friend (who doesn't have kids). Made a real effort to do stuff with me after my first then really distant after dc2, to the point we nearly lost contact altogether despite my best efforts. In hindsight I don't think it was anything (or much) to do with my dc but what was going on in her life.

Do you see each other often or not really?

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