He wouldn't wait for me on his walk

[Sundaycoffee]

I've been dating a guy for a couple of months now. Going well generally but still early days.
This morning he told me last minute that he was going for a walk and do I fancy joining him. I agreed and he told me to meet him at a particular spot on route at a particular time that was closest to my house.
The time he gave me to meet him would have given me 45 mins to shower get, dressed/ready and get to the destination, which was possible, but rushed for me (15/20 mins to get completely ready and out the door from sitting on the sofa in my dressing gown,drinking my morning coffee vibes)
I said will do my best but might be a little late and his response was that he's not waiting for me if I'm not there on time and will just carry on. He said as this was his walk he planned and he wanted to leave at a specific time and if I wanted to join I need to be there ready when he walked past.
I wouldn't expect him to be hanging around for ages but AIBU to expect him to be happy to wait if I'm running 5 mins behind?
In the end I told him not to worry but can't help feeling a bit put out about it and I know if the situation were to be reversed I would happily be more flexible (leave 10 mins later or wait) if it meant getting to see him.

I don’t know why you think I’m taking the piss - I’m just giving my honest opinion. 🤷🏻‍♀️

If I invited someone in a walk, I wouldn’t want to have to wait around for them mid walk because I’m very impatient. He may have just wanted her to join him en route and stalling (for some vague amount of time) was not part of the deal.

I totally get him. I’m not bothered about being seen as ‘provocative’ but I’m truly not trying to be here. He was on a walk. He didn’t want to have to stop and wait around on his walk. It’s very simple. I don’t see some deep character flaw or red flag.

You're obviously just not that in to each other.

If he had really wanted to see you, it would have been easy to hang around for a few minutes.

If you had really wanted to see him, it would have been easy to have got yourself ready a bit quicker.

I suggest you both go on your merry ways without each other.

I don’t think they’re being provocative at all. IMO,
he asked op if she could be ready in 45 minutes,
she said no and that didn’t work for him, so he went on his own. No big deal in my eyes? I really don’t get everyone here rushing to suggest he’s a total arsehole who she should dump!

It's weird he asked you, but then refused to wait for you?! You'd think he'd hang on for 5/10 mins. I'd probably say something to him but then my tolerance for crappy attitudes is zero

Have you been late to meet him before? Otherwise it's very rude of him to ask you to join him but only if you can make it in exactly 45 minutes. Seems to see himself as a bit of an entitled prince. He'd rather go alone than wait 5 minutes for you? You can see what your company means to him.

He was testing you.

Can you obey instructions? Can you jump when he says jump? No you can't, so you have been punished by being left behind.

Fuck that for a game of soldiers - throw him back.

I'd not bother with him either.

My husband would've waited an hour for me to turn up. In fact I was an hour late for our first date and he waited.

I don't know really. I tend to think that there's no right or wrong just people who are either comparable or not.

I'm also the kind of person who gets ready in 2 minutes, and who likes to be spontaneous, so that would have been fine for me, but I'm not an athlete, so while I enjoy walking I also enjoy chatting. Who knows if that would have been ok?😆

I feel that he misjudged things here because for a start he asked her if she'd like to join him. A walk with someone else isn't a training session. If he couldn't be flexible that day for a particular reason, ie a later commitment, he should either have explained why he couldn't wait, and said that if on the off chance she could be ready then he'd love her company, otherwise he could have left it and asked on another occasion.

Also, when it came to seeing each other in the first few months, my husband and I would have waited for each other hours, let alone minutes!

Walking in good company is one of my favourite things, so I'd usually jump at the chance to join a good friend.

If anyone treated me as you his behaviour, I would not give them a second chance.

I would be very, very surprised if he was tender, loving and respectful in every other circumstance of your life together.

Very sorry but best you know in advance what he will do, while you still have time to get out.

Hate to bring up the Rules but no way would I jump up and rush for any man. Ask me out in good time. I am not available last minute.com

Forget him. He just wants you at his convenience.

But yet you started your first comment with 'I can't believe some of these comments'?? So others can't give their honest opinion either? The fact you also wrote "You don’t want to have to piss around waiting in a park for someone for an indeterminate amount of time" says a lot. 'pissing about waiting for someone' - you mean patiently waiting for someone you possible may want to have a relationship with?

Testing you to see how quickly you will do things for him. Really weird and a red flag

I'm not feeling the same about this as other people, and I'm generally a 'LTB' person!

I walk a lot, and I'd feel the same as him. It sounds like you hadn't planned to meet, and he decided to ask you last minute and on impulse. When you needed him to wait for you to get ready, he probably re-thought his offer - and I would have too. I'd not want to wait around for someone who may or may not be 5 minutes (or more) late when I'm eager for a walk.

It may also have shown you have different attitudes to walking - I'd not have showered but would have grabbed some walking kit, pulled on my trainers or walking boots (depending on terrain) and teeny backpack and been out of the door. Cos walking is my passion, and I walk around 8 miles most days, 10 - 15 (or a mountain) on a weekend day. If he's like that, then your hesitation might have had him thinking 'hmm, not sure we're on the same walking page here....' and reconsidering if inviting you was the right thing.

And it was great that you decided it didn't suit you to rush to get ready.

I don't think either of you are wrong here, but it is something to bear in mind for the future, especially if he isn't a walking nut.