DP spends too much money on takeaways and junk food generally

[culinaryconcern]

I wasn't quite sure whether to post this in the food section or in relationships. My boyfriend spends a lot of money on takeaways. He usually gets at least 2 takeaways a week, sometimes more. So it's at least 8 takeaways a month. He has said he doesn't like cooking from scratch as "it's a hassle" and "it never tastes as nice as a takeaway". When he's not having takeaways he will usually have a supermarket ready meal or sandwiches. To be brutally honest, when he has tried to cook meals himself, it's tasted horrible every time. He has also said that he would prefer to spend money on food that he actually likes. I personally find fast food rather unpleasant and try to avoid it as much as I can. What are your thoughts? Does your DP or DH usually cook stuff from scratch? Also I'm curious about how many takeaways most people have each month.

If he can't cook or doesn't enjoy cooking then it's up to him how he feeds himself surely. Unless you want to take on the role of cook in the relationship then that's up to you, but if you don't want to do that, then it's up to him how he does his meals.
I enjoy cooking, I do the majority of the cooking in our house but DH does all the laundry and cleans the kitchen after I've cooked. You find your roles in a relationship.

We eat out once a week and probably have a takeaway twice a month too.

Do you live together and does he expect you to eat these or share/ subsidise the cost? Its not always a healthy habit, but unless it affects you, its up to him really.

In answer to your question, DH & I will typically have about one takeaway a month, but we do eat out a couple of times a month, and I buy ready/ part ready meals to cover one night a week when we are home later.

The thing is if you take on the role of cooking that usually means doing all the thinking about food too, what shall weeat, what do we need to buy etc etc….cleaning up is easy really…

If he can afford it and it’s not very unhealthy, not your problem.

if he can’t afford it and is eating crap, he needs to grow up.

We tend to eat out a few times a month, sometimes a few times a week.

We also lead relatively healthy lives and exercise. We can also both cover our half of the household expenses fine. That's all that matters.

My DH absolutely does not cook for himself! However he doesn't get lots of takeaways either - partly because he is a tight git, and partly as we are rural so nothing delivers here.

We have a very traditional boy jobs and girl jobs set up - I cook, he washes up. Works for us. He also eats what he is given and doesn't put in requests.

We have one supermarket pizza a week, and a ready meal once or twice a month when I just can't be bothered.

cleaning up is easy really…

I really really hate the cleaning up! Plus after 10+ years I can do a week's meal plan v fast.

My OH doesnt eat great food, pretty beige, with lots of sloppy 'stews' cooked in the slow cooker, floppy meat type of thing. tinned veg which never gets eaten, left on the plate. He doesnt eat the same as me and I wouldnt touch what he eats.

So we actually eat separately except for when we're doing special things or a roast, tonight was polenta that we experienced with and he had his horrible chicken wings with it and I had a home made vegetable dish

It would be quite a serious issue for me in a new relationship and I probably wouldn’t continue it.

For me it would be an indication of being more frivolous with money than I am comfortable with and also a lack of life skills to not be able to cook something generally edible. But a very capable person is probably my number one attribute in a partner.

But we’re all allowed to decide what is and isn’t a deal breaker and will differ per person. It’s up to you how important it is to you.

experimented with.

Same as @Mazuslongtoenail I think being an adult and incapable of making an edible meal for me personally is a deal breaker, no idea how much takeaways cost but I'm amazed folk can afford them more than once a week

If he's otherwise gorgeous then I'd go with the flow. It can't be healthy though and he must be overweight.

I wouldn’t put up with it. Up to you if he doesn’t have any food responsibilities.

we both like cooking and prefer to eat healthy food, which most takeaway fast food rarely is. For takeaways we only really get sushi, maybe a few times per month.

How old is your BF? not 25 I hope.

I’d rather spend that money on holidays or home improvements; or save for a rainy day. And takeaways aren’t good for your health and I only have one as an occasional treat. It would be a deal breaker for me as eating together is a fundamental thing and it would show our values are different

I suppose that depends on your relationship. On a weekend we each choose recipes for the week out of the books we have and write a shopping list. DH goes to supermarket and does the 'big shop', I literally just cook it.
The only thinking about food prep that I do is when M&S beckons me and I go in and buy nice bits that we don't need!

Oh god don't get serious with someone who can't/ won't cook. It grinds you down eventually.

We have about two takeaways a year 😂

I’ll be honest here and this would be a big turn off for me. Imagine having a serious long term relationship with someone who is unable to rustle up a simple tasty meal. And throw some children in the mix, what sort of example would he be to them?

But if he makes you laugh and he’s dreamt in bed, he might be fun for a while.

DH cooks most of our meals. I often do Friday nights as he has a bath then. I am a better Cook then him but he's good enough

I think it’s his money and his body so it’s his decision what he does with it.

I wouldn’t marry someone like this because you end up arguing about food and money.

I very rarely get takeaways but I don't think twice a week is an unusual amount, although of course not unusual doesn't mean that it's healthy either.

I would have thought that supermarket ready meals and sandwiches would be less expensive than cooking his own meals for the rest of the week though.

How much is he actually spending?

Dp doesn't cook but I get home earlier than him as I'm not full time. He's great at clearing up and vacuuming ... and always scrubs the shower, not complaining!

I really hate cooking. We eat lots of pasta and things out the freezer often but I make sure there is fruit/salad and veg every dsy.

I think it's off putting when people don't or can't cook (and judge myself for it!)

I probably get a takeaway once or twice a month but it lasts me for 2 nights as I don't eat much.

@MsAsparagus He is a tad overweight but scorching hot in bed. 😄Also he pays for the takeaways himself.