He's in that annoying mood again this morning

[BetteDavisChin]

Picking on me, constantly.
Have you done this yet?
Have you done that yet?
Why have you put that there?
This needs sorting out, that needs sorting out.
Where have you put my blue hoodie?

He's just randomly going around the house, looking for something to have a go at me about.

Yesterday, I went and sat in the bedroom because he was talking to his sister on the phone. No need for me to be there listening to one side of a conversation.

He didn't like that either, and told me I was weird.

Most of the time he can be kind, but when he's like this I feel so sad and want to escape.

Can you leave?

So say "can you give it a rest, You are being really annoying and picking at me and it's doing my head in!"

And say "if you carry on nit picking I'm going out!"

(And follow through with it if he does)

He is a cunt. Ltb and don't look back..

I could leave, but have nowhere to go.

Same situation here. I get ‘told off’ constantly throughout the day. The other day he got home from work and the first thing he said (before saying hello) was “the upstairs curtains need closing”.

I tend to go for a walk when DH like this.he only does it rarely now but it was every weekend when he was going through a very stressed time at work.

I said clearly, I’m not your metaphorical cat to kick.

his bad mood isn’t my problem to fix.

but…if this is all the time….is this what you want froM life?

When I ask him to stop, he'll deny he's doing anything and it's my imagination!

Have you asked him why he's constantly having a go?

Or just get your coat and walk out of the door. Go for a walk/coffee shop/town centre/cinema. Don't put up with this shit.

That's what I usually do - go out for a coffee and me-time.

The only trouble with that is having to go back to the silent treatment

@WhatAMessAgain123 exactly like that, what do you do when you get this?

Leave

Stay and tell him to stop

Stay and repeat back to him exactly what he says and ask why he does it

Great rock/ignore until he deigns to communicate properly

What other options can you think of @@BetteDavisChin

Don't accept his denial. Say we both know what you're doing so stop.

@WhatAMessAgain123 when he does this have you said "can you close them then?" And asked him why not if he's said no. Or just ignore it. He has arms and you're not his servant.

Don't put up with horrible partners. You only have this life.

Grey rock is hard, because it makes me feel so bad having to listen to it.
I prefer to go out, but I have to come home again ...

That is classic gaslighting.

Christ on a bike! I'm glad I'm single. 😳

How are you not driven to punching him?

What are your options here? Stay forever in misery and walk on eggshells, or separate? What are the barriers to you living without this horrible person?

please say no children in this horrible environment?

I'm going out now. He'll be shocked and say he hasn't done anything.

I'm going anyway.

I'm not frightened of him in any way, just makes me feel sad/bad/mad!

@BetteDavisChin I'm sorry for you're feeling like this. My partner can sometimes be a bit like this. He has OCD and most of the time he feels as though everything is dirty.

I've spoken to him about it and explained to him how it makes me feel. I've also said that if he carries on projecting his OCD onto me it'll end up in me building resentment towards him. He apologised and has been mindful ever since. Sometimes I can see it creeping back up but he just fixes things or does it to his own liking himself now because I told him that I understand that he has OCD but I don't so it's unfair to expect me to live my life around his OCD.

I think his OCD stems from a very anxious childhood and feeling like he has no control as he was often scared. His parents were/are very critical people. I think a combination of the two means that he feels like he has control over something (cleaning) and the critical side of his parents can be a bit nit picky.

I don't think it warrants you leaving him, because to be honest most people have some form of trauma. It just manifests in different ways. If people left their partner solely based on the way their trauma has impacted them, most of us would all be single. I think it's about having honest and open conversation on how you can both move forward. However, I do believe that if you are genuinely unhappy and that there are other aspects of your relationship that you're unhappy with then the above may not be as applicable. X

Why do people put up with this shit? if my partner constantly 'told me off' like a child he wouldn't be my partner for long. Tell him to cut it out and treat you like an adult he respects - and if he can't do that it's over. Surely!

He sounds like an irredeemable toilet.
Looking in from the outside it's impossible to see what is in the relationship for you. You can't be yourself. You don't want to return to your own home.
A relationship is not meant to be like this.

He is abusing the fact that you will not stand up to him.

Is he worth the trouble of trying to put this right?
If I were you I would ignore him, get on with my life and put ALL of my energy into getting out of the relationship and making a happy, uncomplicated future where you get what you want out of life, not what he dishes up.

Mate, this is no way to live your life - time for a change

@BetteDavisChin I just tell him I’ll close them when I’m next upstairs. I know it’s not right but I’m so worn down / used to it that I don’t fight it.

I’ve got tonnes of other examples. I would happily leave but frankly I want to see my kids every day - that’s literally the only reason I stay.

@Meadowfinch I know. People wouldn’t believe the thoughts that run through my head.

To which the only response is 'I'm not your fucking housemaid.'