Son is 26 & never had a girlfriend

[Stumpedandneedshelp]

My son is 26 & never had a girlfriend. He says he wants a family one day but how is this meant to happen? He's been on a few dates but nothing has materialised. He's been on Tinder too. I think he's a good choice. He's good looking, respectful to women, can hold his own in a conversation although a little shy. He has a decent job, goes out with his friends, but still nothing.
I fully expect to get flamed for this post, I mean it's his business and nothing to do with me; but I do worry when I see all his old school friends starting to partner up with girlfriends & he seems to be getting left behind. He doesn't seem unhappy, but I do worry about his future.

And he lives independently & fends for himself. He's not tied to my apron strings.

Stop worrying. Not everyone meets their life partner at 26! Very common not to begin settling down until your 30’s now. I’d never had a boyfriend till I was 28, and that didn’t last. Finally met ‘the one’ aged 33, didn’t get together until 35, bought a house at 36 and first baby will turn up just after I turn 38.

At 26 I was in a house share more interested in buying clothes and having a good time than settling down! There’s plenty of time!

If it helps, my husband was mid 30s when we met and hadn’t had a girlfriend. He said he was busy with work and social life and was saving himself for the right woman (although if he’s honest he would say he was nervous around women!).

Anyway, I was the lucky one amd we’ve been married nearly 20 years and created a wonderful family.

Perhaps you’d also worry if he was with the ‘wrong woman’? Stop worrying!

The reality is he's probably shagging his way round Tinder and binning the girls afterwards. That's how 26 year olds with their own place are rolling these days. Yes, even the nice boys. Ask no questions, hear no lies.

Same with my 31 year old son, he has female friends, but I just cannot see him taking a step forward to getting a gf. My other son 28 has a gf, but this seems to put my eldest off more, as there’s always a drama of some sort going on. My own brother has been single virtually all his life, just a few short term gf, but never anything serious. Most of my friends and family have single adult children still at home in their 30’s, 40’s and 50’s.

Lots of people haven’t had a boyfriend or girlfriend at 26, it doesn’t mean they won’t have one in the future if its something they want. I was single until I was a few weeks shy of 27, I’m married, I also have two children.

You only know what he tells you, which if anything like me with my
Mum was highly edited. If he seems mentally well, has work, friends etc then good for him. I appreciate that you worry, us mums always do but it sounds like he's made a good start into adult life and he's ok.

Yep definitely this!

My son is 22 and no relationship as yet. Dont worry about it. As long as they are happy it’s all that matters

26 is no age to worry about him settling down, especially for a young man. He just hasn't met the right girl yet. Also as pps have said you don't know how many casual dates he's had, if he lives independently he's bound to be on the dating apps and he's hardly going to tell you everything he's been up to!

My dm had no idea about my social life at that age, and that was just the way I liked it.

At that age surely he needs the freedom to date whoever he pleases (female or male) without scrutiny.

I met my ‚never had a relationship‘ DH when he was 36. He’s a catch. I’m just glad I’m the lucky one who got him! 🥰

Your worry will rub off on your son. I’m sure he’ll be fine.

My DDs are 27 and 25 and neither have had a boyfriend.

Wow. 😳

26 is so so so young! Much better things for him to be getting on with in life than settling down with a partner!

I have two DS, one 25 & one 22. The older one has had 2 girlfriends but no one since he was 21. In the last year he’s moved home to other side of country, got his dream job & made loads of friends. The youngest has never had a girlfriend but is at Uni soon to finish his masters & I hope like his brother, will find a life he wants. He’s got loads of friends too. I got married at 21 & divorced at 27. Then met their Dad, who I’ve been married to for 25 years. He was 32. I truly hope they wait & find someone who truly makes them happy whatever age. As long as he’s happy, try not to worry.

OP, please leave him alone. He'll either get a partner (male or female) or he won't. Either way, it's fine, and he can and will have a good life.

26 is young for guys! I have a guy friend who’s 31 and is exactly as you’d describe your son: not bad looking, has money, good job, really nice. I’ve been friends with him since we were 18 and he’s never had a girlfriend. I’m pretty sure he’s also still a virgin. He has a lot of girl friends but I think we’ve all friend zoned him 😬 like your son, I’m sure his time will come.

The OP is quite a sad read to me.

I’m 30. Had one serious relationship. I couldn’t give two figs if I find a man and my parents are so supportive of that. I don’t need anyone to make my life better - it’s amazing as it is and I have everything I could ever want. My friends are single and financially stable, and all their parents are supportive.

If your son is happy, what’s the issue? Back off and let him live his life.

The OP is quite a sad read to me.

I’m 30. Had one serious relationship. I couldn’t give two figs if I find a man and my parents are so supportive of that. I don’t need anyone to make my life better - it’s amazing as it is and I have everything I could ever want. My friends are single and financially stable, and all their parents are supportive.

If your son is happy, what’s the issue? Back off and let him live his life.

I assume he shares his disappointment with you, it’s good he feels he can speak to you. My friends DS is a similar age and has never had a GF, he sounds very similar to your DS. He is more a follower than a leader, I think being quiet and shy means people get overlooked.

Yes to the friend zone thing, I have had two male friends like this at work. We all adored them but to all of us they just felt like one of the girls. I hate toxic masculinity but these friends of mine were so in tune with women you kind of thought of them as being women.

I have a 24 year old DS with Aspergers. Super good looking and bright, but really confused about relationships. Currently quite likes the look of men over women but the thought of someone 'hanging around' him 24/7 seems to put him off.

I don’t agree.

Bet he's having fun you don't know about. Why would he tell you? He's living independently and living life, hopefully in the way he wants to. Relationships or not.

My BIL was single and still living at home until his mid 30s.. didn't have a girlfriend. By 37 he was living with a gf and they have a child.