i dont fancy my dh any more.

[makemebetter]

we had problems last year and i think since then,although were ok now,i fancy him less and less.i dont find him attractive and dont fancy him.lastnight in bed he just gave up(sorry if tmi)as i knew myself and im sure he knew-id rather have been anywhere but there.ive really tried its not that ive not tried.what to do?

do you not fancy him because of weight, looks etc, or because you had problems last year?

i dont know thats the thing,i just dont like him in that way anymore.

the problems you had- did he behave badly or do something wrong, and you haven't shaken off the bad feeling? that could manifest itself in a lack of attraction.

if he isn't suddenly overweight etc, it sounds more like a psychological lack of attraction, if that makes sense.

maybe you have more to work through- saying you're 'ok' now, isn't the same as saying 'things are great' or 'i'm really happy'

he kissed someone else in front of me(whoop there goes namechange!).i am happy now but its turned into more a brother sister relationship

do you WANT to restore the way things were? What does your DH say?

yes i think i do.he doesnt say anything,just gets cross and goes silent.

well, it sounds like you both want the same thing. would he appoachable on the subject?

i don't know what your situation is, but could you afford a few nights out a month together, or counselling, or a weekend away?

maybe doing things you did when you first met might rekindle something?

maybe sounds good idea.we have had a couple of nice nights out but again-brother and sisterly.

before children we just used to go out and get pissed so not something id like to rekindle.

btw wanted to say thankyou for coming up with suggestions even though i must sound like complete misery!
also im not sure what hed do if we had open discussion on it.probably cry,ignore me then ok in few days with no more talk of it.

Maybe you do still fancy him but life has got on top of you and you dont feel desirable anymore and cannot understand why he would find you sexy!

what about dating him again?

Arrange a babysitter and pick him up in a taxi and go for a meal and have a few drinks.

Come back to the house and let the steamy stuff happen slowly.....

....maybe your libido is shot at! Do you want sex with someone else or no sex at all?

bump

thanks.good advice.worth a try!nope no one else.i did wonder if it could be side effect of pill?

Your comment on the pill.. can't remember which one, but in the days when I did take the pill I really wasn't that interested in sex, (I just assumed I was faulty or something) then after the birth of ds1 I asked for a change of pill because I had read somewhere about side effects.. well I perked up dramatically , so that might be part of it, but to be honest I think it's worth you both taking some time to make time for yourselves and rediscover yourselves if that's what you both want.