Dating advice required

[Lilllypad11]

My friends been on 5 dates with a guy, they went for dinner every time. He paid 3 times. She’s paid the last two. Anyway, her first issue was, she said she really likes him. He insists he’s enjoyed it enjoying getting to know her. He talks about the fact that a connection with another person is important and that he’s really enjoying dating her and loves they have a great chat and “loves getting to know her” but then he’s said stuff to her like “you do have a fantastic bum” obvs they kissed and apparently he was grabbing a feel. He said “I think there’s a lot of sexual chemistry between us” she said “look I’m not after just sex. I need an emotional connection first” he then said “I completely agree I need to be able to emotionally connect first before I had sex. And when I say that I mean it should happen in its own time naturally. Whether that’s date 10/20 or more” Then he said stuff to her later “of course it would be great to know you in other ways too” she said “I’m in no rush” he said “I’d never push for it. It’s just whenever it feels natural I’m still having a lovely time getting to know you first when we go on dates” etc etc.

she keeps asking me if all he wants is sex and I said I have no idea. The only way she would know is if she ever does get intimate with her. I asked what she talks about on dates. She said it’s not sex it’s work and values etc.

It’s tricky for me to say really? Like should they really even bring up sex at this point. I said he may just be trying to get into your knickers he may not. Only time can tell.

Help?
TLDR: my friend wants to
Figure out if this guy just wants sex. I told her to just ask

He's not going to answer that honestly if he didn't have good intentions.
Men don't normally go to much effort into going to restaurants 5 times if it's just a quick shag but I don't think its guaranteed he wants long term commitment either, tbh a relationship is built over time so even with the best intentions it doesn't always work out. As long as your friend is enjoying herself under no pressure and keeps herself grounded.

Some sex talk and flirting is normal, it's not a platonic relationship, they are dating because they fancy each other, she shouldn't feel uneasy about it though, if its feeling too much to handle that's her gut feeling to stop.

She said all she said when he brought it up was “it’s not easy I just need some time”

she said when he said it again along the lines of “I wanna explore more than just your personality though fyi.” Apparently she said “as I said won’t be easy and is a privilege maybe one day you might be able to😂”

Why would you tell her to ask when she already asked and has been answered?

He seems like he has answered respectfully.

There's no way to know if it's true or not because no one has a psychic ball they can use to predict the future.

But if he continues to be respectful then that's a good sign.

A bum squeeze is hardly a big deal. Especially as it was before she told him she was in no rush. So long as he doesn't start pushing his luck, it seems fine to me.

Tell her to let her hair down and go with the fkow, but at her own pace. If you enjoy yourself and take everything with a pinch of salt for the first 3-6 months then what does it matter, ultimately.

Statistically, most dates don't become relationships. And most relationships, end. So why not just enjoy things for what they seem to be for now and if and when it stops being what she wants, call it a day.

Its just dating. Just some company. It's not a blood pact.

I said won’t be easy and is a privilege maybe one day you might be able to

The idea that any kind of intimate or sexual experiences between them would be a 'privilege' sounds to me less as if the issue is emotional connection and could easily come across as just trying to haggle to secure a high enough price. It's the sort of thinking my own mothers generation used in the '50s

For me the important things to establish before being intimate are finding out what kind of person they are, how they react when being told 'no' even for trivial things, how they react when things don't go their way in life generally. Do they sulk, blame others etc.

What they prioritise in life, their approach to finances and security. Their interest, how active they are.

How they deal with differences in general and in specifics.

These are things that tend to emerge from how they do things as much as what they actually do. It's not easy to establish reliably but listening and asking will only go some way

What do is your friend really looking for?