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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Kicked husband out and I'm struggling

4 replies

Soulfullofsunshine · 09/03/2024 09:13

Been with my husband for 5 years, although we only got married in August last year. Have an almost 3 yr old son together and I have 2 children from a previous relationship.

So to cut a long story short since we got married last year it feels like it was a curse, we have had so many bumps in the road, we have.l been through so much together, not only is he my hubby but he's my best friend we do everything together, the best team!

Since before Xmas my husband has been working nights, we don't get any time just us no one to have our toddler, feels like we have slowly been losing who 'we' are as a couple.

So Thursday we had a row; I've noticed a few times him being on his phone where he's been smiling - like a cute smile, I used to make him smile like That and when he noticed me he would act shifty, so alarm bells ringing!

Anyway I did some digging when he went to work Thursday night and see he's been using telegram everyday but going to the App Store to download it use it then delete the app, I hacked into it and know his typical password and obvs his email. I found out that the very same morning he had been messaging sex workers, trying to book with them!!
I threw him out he says he hasn't done anything yet but he wanted to and is going to now.
I am beyond hurt, he's gone with his stuff said I won't hear from him in weeks. My little boys birthday is very soon, he's asking where's daddy, just feel like he's a complete idiot for ruining our family.

Anyway the main point of this post is to seek comfort from those been in similar situations, I feel utterly broken and struggling to see how I'm gonna live my life without him.

OP posts:
Maray1967 · 09/03/2024 09:27

I’m so sorry. I haven’t been in this situation, but I hope you don’t mind me posting as I know some women who have.

One thing stands out amongst a whole heap of bad behaviour - he said you won’t see him for weeks. He said that, knowing he has children. He is beyond disgusting, and I hope you can find your anger at him, and channel it to build strength to do your best for you and your DC.

Soulfullofsunshine · 09/03/2024 09:32

@Maray1967

Your right! I woke up this morning thinking about that and it's disgusting and unfair on the children.

OP posts:
Shetlands · 09/03/2024 09:39

I'm so sorry your world has come crashing down. Your DH is an idiot who has no respect for you if he was planning on visiting sex workers. He says he hasn't done anything yet but I'd find that hard to believe since he was trying to book with them. Are they all booked up indefinitely? No, of course not.

Now he's going to blame you for his visits to sex workers. That's not your 'best friend' by any stretch of the imagination. If he ignores your 3 yr old for the next few weeks then he's a rubbish Dad too.

You're in pain of course. You're grieving for the relationship you thought you had and the future that's now going to be very different to the one you planned. You know you will survive this but the current pain is awful to endure. I hope you can rally friends and family around you for support and comfort.

Soulfullofsunshine · 09/03/2024 10:04

@Shetlands
Thank you for those words, it really helps puts things into perspective for me whilst hurting. You really have hit the nail on the head there, I am grieving over something in my head I thought was my fairytale - couldn't be further from it. I just can't believe I trusted him so much

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