Hand hold domestic abuse

[Madison44]

I’m having a really difficult time with my 13 year old son who is being so disrespectful to me.
in the last few days he has told me (when I was sick) I should be working more, told me to shut uo ( and I could count myself lucky he was so polite!!)
told me I was lucky to have such nice children a beautiful home and A kind husband it’s not like you’re a battered woman .
Told me whilst I was making tea oh ffs you’re going to take 20 minutes making that I’m going to eat in the living room!
When his friend was due I de the day I was sick I was in my dressing gown and he told me to change. I told him I lived here and would wear what suited me (he replied you might live here but you don’t pay anything)
I feel so depressed at the moment i am in the process of leaving but at this stage I just want to run away tbh. Thanks for reading

Sorry you’re having a hard time OP.
Has your son picked this up from his father?
Are you leaving your son with your OH?
Does your son know you’re leaving? When are you going?
Just think a bit more info would help us to understand this situation and give better support
💐

The father is vile or the son is following Andrew Tate.

I’m very sorry to read this, OP. How has it got to this ?

Reqlly his father needs to tell him not to ever speak like that to you again. Or has the boy learned it from his dad?

You don't owe anyone, an.y.o.ne. staying around to be abused.

If you're leaving because his dad is a shit then:
'Do not speak to me like that. I'm leaving your dad because his behaviour is unacceptable. That should be an example for you that if ypu treat people badly, they leave. Don't be like your dad. He never learned the lesson'.

And stop cooking for the little shit.
Worst thing you could do is end up leaving one abuser only to be trapped with another. He stays with his dad. Don't let him into your new home.

Personally have a talk with the daddy and tell him what is going on. Then act calm around teen son... don't bite back nor show to his face that he is needling you in anyway. Put your game face on. When teen has finished mouthing off - very quietly and firmly say
"glad you got that off your chest. You must feel better now you've spoken out. Too bad, I'm your mother. Get used to it. I'm not going anywhere. Oh , and dont you DARE talk to me like that again or I'll start treating you like a baby in front of your mates and see how you like to be put down. Now, what do you want for tea son?"

I used to tell my husband until I realised there’s no point as he’s the one also saying these things to me.
a few months ago my husband persuaded me to have a threesome after a while I agreed (stupid I know) afterwards he got angry demand I apologise etc I refused and he started going Ain about divorce etc, as we were away at the time he drove me to town left me with money for dinner and just went off.
‘Anyway this other person texted me and we saw each other that evening.
‘My husband told our son about my affair and he told me he loves me no matter what.
‘Anyway husband started in front of my son de Manding to see my phone if I had nothing to hide, and generally being verbally abusive to me.
He threatened twice to hit me. (Not in front of my son)

My son then changed his behaviour to me, following me outside if I was on a call, demanding to know where I was telling me to piss off etc etc.

Oh OP. I think I remember reading an earlier post. Firstly this is an awful situation and I’m sorry.

This was not an affair if it’s how you describe it and this needs to be made clear to them both at some point but maybe not now.

With your husband threatening to hit you and also your son now being hostile this sounds like you do need to leave at least for now. Do you have somewhere to go?

Can you call Womens Aid and the police for advice in the first instance?

One day your son can be told the truth about how this happened but for now the heat needs to be taken out of the situation.

I take it you will be divorcing H?

So your husband is abusive and he engeneered the threesome so he could use it against you.

You NEED to tell your son that 'your dad is abusive. He is manipulating you just like he manipulated me. He twists things. And he's twisting you. Playing you like a puppet. You might not see it now but one day you will. I love you son but I'm leaving him. I'm getting faaaaar away from him. I wish you the best in doing the same. But it won't be with me, not while you are dancing to his tune'.

And by the way, in your situation I would just run. I wouldn't wait around one more day. Get out. Go. If you have enough to survive on for more than a few months and a job or, family to stay with whilst you sort these things, go now. Tonight. Pack a bag and go. And never look back.

But you must to your son the truth, even if he won't believe you now, he'll come to see it one day. And he'll understand. Or, he'll become his father...but theres nothing you can do about the later now.

Protect yourself.

Have you posted before? I'd leave your piece of shit husband, i really would.

Ps, I'm not saying to stop seeing your son. But don't have him in your new home, he can live live his dad. I'd say you can reconsider that when he starts to see his dad's manipulations for what they are. But tbh I still think that's an unnecessary risk (and tbh it may take them a few years away from home and him, as adults, before they come to fully realise). Meet him out and about or in neutral territory like a grandparents house.

And don't meet his father ever again.