My 2 children are constantly arguing at the moment (age 8 and 10). They’re both lovely, caring kind children and I enjoy spending time with them each 1-2-1. However together it is a war zone. They are almost exact opposite personalities and really don’t get on. If they aren’t arguing it’s a good day, and a day where they actually have a period of playing or doing something nicely together is extremely rare.
To be honest I am getting more frustrated the older they get at the impact they have on the whole house. I’ve tried not letting it get to me but having others screaming and shouting does affect me as it makes me feel uptight and stressed. I’ve started telling them things like “no I am not watching the film with you both. You’ve been shouting at each other and I want a calm quiet evening so I am choosing to watch something alone in my room” and “no I’m doing a walk alone because I am walking to relax and you are both arguing.”. I’m on the fence over whether these are ok boundaries to have or if it is like emotional manipulating- I’m not doing what you want because you annoyed me.
Any thought?
To be clear I do a lot with them. Read for 30 mins each every night and most days do an activity/play with them each. But I am starting to do less with them and am starting to do more alone- generally just because they are getting older but also because I feel I simply can’t keep allowing their arguments to ruin every weekend.