I've ended a nearly 4 year relationship today with the man I considered to be my future. Something has changed over the last few months and I've felt neglected. During this time I've tried to walk away a fair few times but still go back after a couple of hours. Today my friend messaged and said what would you be telling your daughters to do? That was enough for me.
He took on new members of staff to help with the workload and can't seem to trust them to do the tasks on their own. He says himself he's spending most of his time baby sitting which means we are not in contact throughout the day. We don't live together due to children from previous marriages etc and he's been fairly absent in the evenings too. Every time we've arranged to see each other (usually during school hours), something has come up meaning he can't get away from his work.
I've been trying to tell him he's hurting me for months. He will not listen and I've now become extremely anxious and frustrated with the situation and being made to feel so unimportant. I can tell him how I feel and he doesn't listen or brushes it off as nonsense which then makes me feel like I matter even less. It's become a vicious cycle where I'm left feeling like I have no self worth, constantly checking my phone or arguing with him. I'm pushing him away and he's becoming more avoidant, I'm becoming more anxious and it's just a terrible spiral.
So I've left. Yet deep down I have a nagging feeling I've overreacted. My friends say if he can't meet what I feel are acceptable standards in communication or effort, then he has to realise that and step up or I have to leave. I've tried. I really have given it chance after chance after chance and I just don't know what to do anymore.
Have I been hasty? Or have I done the right thing?