Reviving flagging marriage

[MeImAllSmiles]

Any ideas? Far too long a story but marriage pretty dead in the water, needs radical shake up.

Counselling? Start dating again? Take time out for the two of you? weekend away together? Do things together/visit places you did when you were dating

It depends on how bad things are. If things are just a bit slow/stuck in a rut then perhaps counselling is too strong. Whereas if something more drastic has happened (temptation or actual affair, maybe?) then perhaps 'date night' is just papering over the cracks.

No affairs yet, not that I haven't thought about it (not getting attention/affection from h, classic eh). He won't go to counselling, I have been going to relate, hard work on your own.

So does he not think there is a problem if he wont go to relate - does he know you are tempted?
You need to let him know how bad it really is. Then hopefully you can both work on what is needed to put the spark back.

We have lots of time together, communication is def lacking, arguing all the time. He won't go to relate but knows there are problems, think he is being an ostrich and hoping things will go away.

Have been having counselling for a year now. We just "fell out of love". Still mates, but no affection. Living seperate lives while the other baby sits.

Counselling has been our saving grace. Really. Find a good counsellor where you can just talk. You will know instantly if you have found the right one.

My DH is not great at talking about feelings, but our counsellor has really got him to open up. Some of the things we have said to each other there have been horrible, but strangely have bought us closer together. Sometimes the truth just slaps you around the face and you need it!!

I can't recommend it enough. We are not there yet, but taking small steps closer to it.