Is this pervy?

[takepictures]

I'm 30 and he 43. We met through work and do see each other often. We're not dating, haven't exchanged numbers etc. but he seems interested in me.

He compliments my appearance most times which makes me think he may be mostly just physically attracted to me.

Recently, he commented about when he first saw me at a work do (5 months ago) and said you were wearing such and such. I was surprised he could remember because I had an ordinary winter outfit on.

He has said nice things about my work ethic and relayed positive comments about me from colleagues. And how he's wanted to get to know me sooner.

So you want to know if it's Pervy that he recalled what you were wearing?

No. It's not. It's attention to detail.

Have you expressed any clear interest or lack of interest?

Unless he's your line manager and/or in a relationship and/or you've made it clear you're not interested, not particulalry pervy.

Age also not particularly relevant I'm afraid- I'm a couple of years older than you and wouldn't consider a man in his early 40s to be that much older as several of my close friends are that age.

Is it pervy that he remembered what you were wearing? No. It doesn’t sound as though he’s done anything pervy and that he gives you all sorts of compliments which sounds nice as long as you’re happy to receive these comments and haven’t asked him to stop. The age gap is personal to you, your wants and if you’re happy with that if you want to date him. But it doesn’t sound as though he’s said or done anything wrong from what you’ve said here.

You’ve started at least 3 threads today about this so something isn’t sitting right with you about this man.

I don't think it’s pervy but I think he’s pursuing you - ask yourself if that’s something you’re comfortable with.

What's pervy about it?! And the age gap is irrelevant. It's hardly like you're 18 and he's 50! I'm in my 30s and my DP is in his 40s - it's pretty normal in my opinion and amongst my friends.

No, sorry. As in he comments on my appearance very often whilst looking at my body.

If you went to HR they’d be having words with him because it’s not appropriate workplace behaviour, is it?

I think he is interested in you. If you have made it clear that you are NOT interested in him, and he is still persistently doing this the it tips over into being creepy/pervy.
But are you interested in him? You sort of make it sound like you might be...

Oh cross post. Yeah, I would not like that.

Age is just for context. We're not teenagers basically.

Do you like him, would it be ok if he was interested? Is there some more general flirting going on?

I also think it depends on the comments - last week a chap I work with asked if I had my hair done because it looked nice. I have no problem at all with that.
Any comments about chest/arse etc would be given short shrift and escalated.

You’ve started four threads about the same man.

He is definitely interested in you. If you are interested in him his comments are OK, but a bit dated. If you want him to stop commenting on your appearance then you need to say that it is making you uncomfortable. If he doesn't stop when requested then yes, he's pervy.

Wasn't aware I posted. So sorry.

Four threads about this bloke?

He sounds interested in you. He hasn't said anything inappropriate or perverted that I can see.
If you're not interested don't engage.
I'm not sure what you're asking tbh.

Men do tend to look at women they are attracted to. Is he glancing at you or leering at you? Does he say, "You look lovey today" or "Nice tits."

Context matters.

Ah.
@takepictures What are you looking for from these threads?
I haven’t seen the others but what stands out to me is that you’re asking if he’s pervy, and you’re talking only about his interest in you. You haven’t said whether you’re interested in him. If not, shut him down by being politely frosty and only engaging in conversations about work.
Commenting on your appearance while looking at your body is IMO inappropriate workplace behaviour.

Only if he's leering or making innapropriate comments (eg, about your figure as opposed to just complimenting your outfit for example).

If he isn't then no. But if you get creepy vibes from him then you're probably right to avoid him as much as possible. Our gut usually knows stuff before we do.

He does sound a little fixated. But not pervy exactly.

Almost 25 years later, I still remember what my now DH was wearing the first time I met him, primarily because it was an awful brown suit 🤣🤣 We got together 3 years later and no, I’m not pervy, but I did make him throw out that suit 🤣

If you feel like his attention and behaviour towards you is pervy, then it is probably pervy. No one here has witnessed it. If it’s a welcome thing then OK but still pretty inappropriate if you ask me. Pay attention to your spidey senses.