Some opinions needed

[princesspadam]

I'll try and keep this brief

Been with DP for 7 years
Both divorced
Both have teenage dcs

I did not do particularly well in my divorce and my ex continues to pay as little as he can get away with.
DP continues to be generous to ex wife as he can afford to be.

We fell in love with a disaster of a house that we've had to demolish & rebuild.
Initially we planned to keep and rent out our own properties but I wanted to contribute to new home so it was 'ours' rather than 'his'.

He sold his, I've just sold mine.

But it's giving me huge anxiety giving up the home I've been in for over 20 years.
Getting rid

Sorry posted too soon!

Getting rid of furniture and starting all over again.

We have had a legal agreement that no matter what happens I will come out of the home with what I put in at the very least. Obviously changes in house prices, how long I pay into the mortgage etc will be taken into account.
But the bottom line is if I pay in £300k I will always get that back.
I'm in his will, he is in mine. I know he wants to provide in the event of an untimely death.

So why am I so upset and crippled by anxiety over this step?
Is this to be expected? Or is my 'woo' telling me something?

He's kind, generous, my dcs love him, my friends love him, my ex & exs family love him and most importantly I love him!!!!

Is this anxiety normal?
TIA

I think you're having a trauma response to previous experiences, which have nothing to do with your current situation (if your partner has up until now proven to be reliable and responsible).

Your feelings are valid and justified. Just projected into the wrong context and not helpful to you at the moment. However, you can't just shove these feelings back into a hole and hope for them to go away. Regardless of whether they are about your partner or not, these feelings are there and are an indication that you still have some healing to do.
Is this something you can talk to your partner about?

Thank you, we have spoken about it and he's really understanding and acknowledges how difficult it is.
He's never pushed me into it, and I think it's the right decision but there is something in me screaming

Is it because your safety net has been removed? Even if that is the case, then owning a house together can be undone at any point in time.

I think Hbosh makes a sensible point about your past haunting you.
Would it help your sanity to keep a few thousand back in a saving account for yourself, so at least you know that if you needed to escape one day, you could?

I think I've lived here so long it feels like a huge wrench
This is my safe space, I've laughed, cried, had children, had parties, had arguments and make ups

I know I have to move forward, but it's so hard