Sad who I’ve ended up with

[Ditsydooo]

This sounds silly. I just think about younger me who dreamed of being married to someone who loves me and adores me

im quite sure my DH doesn’t. Hes just so mean and flips his lid easily, but when I crack after a build up of things I apparently have anger issues or I’m unreasonable?

he always uses horrible words during arguments, I can’t remember the last time he says something nice about me

and when he has I get shocked and then he says “see this is why I never say anything like this”

We have 2 kids , 2nd was an accident but it was then I kind of accepted I was staying with him for security for my kids

were happy in front of them

he’s very stubborn he can’t admit he’s wrong so that causes a lot of arguments but again he won’t accept that he’d blame me

We did love eachother I don’t know if he does me, because he doesn’t show it but I just feel deflated and wish I had someone who showed me love and seemed to like me

I honestly don’t see abuse here. I just see two very unhappy people who used to be in love but now shouldn’t be together because they no longer love each other. When you fall out of love, people articulate it in different ways. Some people get angry and some just withdraw into themselves.

OP, you could suggest and try counselling. See how it goes. A good one will be able to unpick what’s going on, and help you to improve the marriage, or guide you into seeing the relationship is irreparable. Don’t stay with him just for the sake of your children. They need to see what healthy loving relationship should look like. You’re their role models.

I honestly don’t see abuse here

I don't see clouds and blue bits when I look at the sky. Does that mean they're not there?

OP, he is minimising your feelings, and making you 'the offender' when he hurts you. These things are abusive, regardless of whether everybody agrees. Leave for the sake of your children. It doesn't matter if you're calm in front of them. They will know what's going on. There is a messed up power balance in your relationship that they will be aware of. They will also be aware that there is unpleasantness hiding under a veneer of pleasantness. That will mess them up in the future.