Did I overstep the mark by getting involved with fiancés female friend

[Quickrunner91]

My fiance has had a female friend for a few years. She works with him, and was calling him and texting him after work hours about her relationship issues with her parter. This was making me feel uncomfortable and I asked my fiance if he would let me meet her as a group. He said he asked her but she never got back to him with a date. So I never met her.
One time after this he called her regarding a work related topic. She began venting about her relationship issues. He told me he stopped her, but in a rude way. He didn’t tell me exactly what he said to her. It made her angry and they didn’t speak for some days, but came back to being relatively friendly after some time.
Fast forward a week or two. My fiance is relatively active on facebook. This woman never likes or comments on his facebook posts. My fiance shared a post and she reacted with love to this and both me and my fiance found this odd. He ended up unfriending her of his own accord.
The following day she had kicked him out of a group chat of which she was an admin and blocked him on all media.
My fiance has previously described this woman as not having the nicest of characters and has said she may try to cause him issues at work becuase of this. His work/career is very important to him. She has also previously helped him with work so I feel guilty that I contributed to the loss of this.
Did I overstep a mark here by voicing my concerns?

Could he not have just stopped posting on the social media rather than actively targeting someone for posting an emoji in a public forum?
I think your husband needs to say that he accidentally unfriended a lot of people because he is going off social media. Apologise to the group and stay off for good.

I don't see how you've contributed to it? You haven't done anything especially notable from what you've written and you haven't really got yourself involved.

Her venting and him cutting her off - that's something he did, not you.

Him unfriending her - that's something he did, not you.

It sounds like he's right that she's difficult, and he may be right to be worried that she'll cause trouble ahead. But it's not because of you.

I’m not sure what you’ve contributed to or what the actual issue is to be frank.

I'm guessing that your involvement was greater than just saying 'let's meet up together' for you to be feeling guilty about this.

That's a bit mad. Sounds like you're all massively overreacting. I'd go for pleasant but professional if I was him

Also this is one of the reasons I never had colleagues as Facebook friends. Not even the ones I'd known for decades and loved.

In his place I'd simply let it be known at work that I was keeping Facebook to personal friends only.

She sounds difficult but I don't understand why reacting to a Facebook post with a heart would be a trigger to unfriend someone? Lots of people throw those emojis around pretty randomly on social media, it sounds like you've both read a huge amount into it which seems strange.

Are you all 12?

I couldn't be doing with any of this, strange complicated bollocks on all sides.

Going with the immaturity of it all, I suggest he scribbles something rude in her notebook whilst she's not looking, and you dunk her cardie in a muddy puddle. That'll do!

You both sound a bit strange tbh.

Why did he have to be rude to her and cut her off? She's supposed to be his friend. He could have just started to keep things a bit more about business or changed the subject.

Unfriending her for putting a heart emoji is a total overreaction.

She is a looney that thinks your fiancé belongs to her.
Your fiancé is acting naively but he knows more than you think.
You are going to end nuts if you start wondering if you have caused something here.
He is blocked, isn't he. Well good news for you and your fiancé.

Yeah, the situation is weird and I didn’t want my fiancé to be rude, just change the topic. I feel maybe I pushed him to overreact because of my discomfort over the situation

Oh dear. I'm going to say they are almost certainly not just friends.

You don't unfriend someone because of an emoji, you unfriended that person because you're worried what they'll do next for your partner to see.

What's so terrible about sending love to a friend/colleague anyway?

She hasn't posted on his FB previously because they're keeping a low profile. There's been nothing, ever, she'd want to like or comment on for a work colleague?

He cut her off and was rude because you were there, usually he'd encourage all that my partner doesn't understand and probably says the say about you.

She "doesn't have the nicest of characters" to him and might cause him trouble at work because he's been treating her badly. She removed him from the chat because she's hurt and angry at being dropped when it wasn't convenient for him to have the usual heart to heart with her.

Etc etc. None of this is normal for a standard friendly colleague relationship.

@Quickrunner91 you didn't push him to overreacting. He did it that way because he wanted you to know. And the magic of toxicity worked and somehow is now your problem.

I hearted a male friend's FB post the other day. It doesn't mean I fancy him, and his wife, like any sane person, would not have taken it to mean that I did. If he'd unfriended me because I loved the photo that he'd taken, I'd think he'd lost his mind.

How did she know he'd unfriended her so quickly...? Guess she was checking his profile regularly.... She sounds intense - ignoring him because he shut down a convo? You haven't done anything wrong. He's been playing with fire for some time, likely leading her on and has now realised it's obvious to you - so wants to stop it. Unfriending her over an emoji is nuts but it sounds like he was going on the offence before she did something on FB that outed him. And I don't think he ever did ask her about a meet up..

I’ve got to admit, it did suprise me that she knew he unfriended him. Something like that I wouldn’t notice for weeks

Given the length of time they have been friends and on the assumption you have been with your fiancé a reasonable time rather than jumping to an engagement, she has done very very little in the duration for you to have an issue with and it all seems very immature.

Some people have apps that alert them to any unfriending lol

Tbf I think he (and you) completely over reacted to a heart reaction to a public post. Enough to unfriend her?? So bizarre. If I was her I would've taken major offense to that

Yes I have this same feeling. I have a co worker that does similar and always claims the latest woman trying to make it hard for him at work is psycho or obsessed with him. In every instance he's having an affair. His poor gf cannot understand why her amazing bf is constantly having these fatal attraction women causing him grief. While the rest of us roll our eyes again

I really do feel like I live in a different world sometimes. I almost never use Facebook but might go on every few months to find some specific info from a group, and see a post at the top of my feed which I'll like or love. There's really no deeper meaning there. You sound much odder than her to be honest. Plenty of people talk to their work colleagues about things other than work.

I don't think so. He seemed annoyed at her anyway.

If your dp takes his work seriously then hopefully her temp / perm being pissed off at him won't hurt him much. She would have to wield a lot of influence to sideline him for no good reason (other than personal ones).

That app, you still have to login to the app to find who deleted you since the last time you checked. Only a weirdo would be checking the app everyday/regularly to see who deleted them! I think it's more likely she just looks at his profile a few times a day.

No you were right

shes getting her just desserts for broaching boundaries . Maybe before you he was a bit kinder and tolerant of her ?

these things often fade with time so the best thing is to do nothing