Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What can I do to help suddenly unconfident and lonely Y7 dc?

6 replies

CheckeredAliceBand · 06/03/2024 21:06

Ds is in Y7. He sailed through primary with a large friendship group - always in a group of kids in the playground and after school and very happy and confident.

His group went to several different secondary schools, but his two best friends from the groups were going to same school as ds. They are both in the same tutor group, and ds was put into a different tutor group without anyone he was either friends with or even friendly with.

Ds has had quite a lot of issues with bullying at his secondary, which the school have dealt with but it's knocked his confidence. He is in a tutor group with some really mean kids who have been quite vocal about disliking him and how annoying he is. He's struggling to cope with the additional pressures and expectations of secondary, and these things seem to have changed him into a different boy.

His two best friends have a little group of nice boys in their tutor group, and ds has really tried hard to integrate himself into this group but he says to me this evening that he feels like he's always on the edge and following others, but no one seeks him out and no one ever messages him outside of school.

It seems like he's totally lost his social confidence and mojo and is feeling really lonely and dejected.

I'm not very confident socially myself so I dont feel particularly like I can advise him or help him very effectively but it's breaking my heart to see him suffer like this. I feel like it's history repeating because very similar happened to me in secondary and it took me years into adulthood to get over it.

What can I do to help him?

OP posts:
Clouddrifting · 06/03/2024 21:08

School can move him into a different tutor group, that would at least move him away from his bullies and perhaps into one with friends, or just give him a fresh start.

CheckeredAliceBand · 06/03/2024 21:14

I have asked them about this - they said it's only done under very exceptional circumstances. I have made a case for it and am waiting to hear.

OP posts:
herbygarden · 06/03/2024 21:23

I would keep pushing the school to move him with his friends. Surely this should be exceptional when he has been bullied and feels actively disliked within his tutor group, and for him to have changed in himself. Keep fighting!

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 06/03/2024 21:34

He's been bullied, keep pushing as it's unacceptable to leave him in that tutor tbh-not sure why they're spinning the exceptional circumstances line, utter bullshit.
Failing that would you consider a fresh start at a new school?
High school is such a difficult transition 😔

PermanentTemporary · 06/03/2024 21:39

Find a group with some if his old friends in? I set up a Woodcraft Folk branch just so that ds could keep seeing his best friend who had gone to another school. Beavers/Scouts? A sport club lots of them like?

CheckeredAliceBand · 06/03/2024 22:01

I will keep pushing with school. Will see about groups - that's a good idea. I know one of his best friends goes to scouts (or beavers) but in our area the wait lists are years for those groups.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page