I posted on here a while back about my bf demanding sex from me, this isn’t about that but that’s our past problem that has been causing relationship problems. Since all this I find it hard to communicate with him, especially if I feel like he is acting in a way that isn’t kind or thoughtful of me. So.
recently we had a fight because he was texting me about how horny he was (common occurrence) which doesn’t really bother me in itself. He is a massage therapist and this time he threw out “it’s a good thing I’m only massaging men today” while talking about how horny he was. This really threw me off and made me feel upset. I asked him what he meant, and he said “well I’m not attracted to men’s energies so it’s not easier to be around them when I’m horny”. I understand to a point but the whole thing made me super uncomfortable. I immediately communicated that that made me feel a bit upset and uncomfortable. He basically tried to say “well it’s not sexual I’m just attracted to women’s energies and not men’s” and “it was just a joke and now it’s all serious” I have no idea what “energies” mean but….. after saying I didn’t take his joke the right way he just left it at “I get off at 7 tonight” (back story, we have been together 10 years and he still lives with his mom, his choice not mine)
so here is where I know I could have done better. I did not text him back the rest of the night. I felt like I already communicated I was upset and that was enough. Once I did text him the next day and he came over he, in a very annoyed tone, said “I don’t know what you want me to say, it was a joke and you took it the wrong way”. The conversation ended in me apologizing for not texting him back that night after the “it’s just a joke” comment and him preaching to me about how I’m taking it the wrong way and that the ball was in my court to invite him over to my house if I was still upset. Idk, I feel bad about the whole thing and since he has been demanding sex frequently all week every week and throwing fits when we don’t our relationship has gotten more and more strained and I don’t know how to communicate better when I’m upset. I feel like we both throw the ball in each others court and then get upset that neither side does anything about it.