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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How do I let go?

3 replies

GoldenCrab · 06/03/2024 14:30

I know I need to leave him. He is not good for me. If i even attempt to think of my relationship from a third party and what i would advise, im mortified that im in a relationship so shit so nobody even knows.

The problem is, i adore him. I love him probably alot more than i should and definitely more than i love myself. I am weak and a pushover and settle for a fraction of goodness that he shows here and there, just so i have part of him.

Its never going to work but i love him so much. But i just know he doesnt love me the same way and im sick of thinking 'oh but thats just how he is'. Its been years.

How do i get the strength to leave and stop choosing my love for him over self respect and my own happiness.

Any advice welcome, i cant go on like this any more. How do i turn off the feelings without falling into a huge depression? Last time we split up i didnt eat for so long i ended up in hospital as i didnt eat for weeks and am on antidepressants now.

Someone please tell me how to navigate a break up i dont want, with a person i love. 😞

OP posts:
Ledci · 06/03/2024 14:49

GoldenCrab · 06/03/2024 14:30

I know I need to leave him. He is not good for me. If i even attempt to think of my relationship from a third party and what i would advise, im mortified that im in a relationship so shit so nobody even knows.

The problem is, i adore him. I love him probably alot more than i should and definitely more than i love myself. I am weak and a pushover and settle for a fraction of goodness that he shows here and there, just so i have part of him.

Its never going to work but i love him so much. But i just know he doesnt love me the same way and im sick of thinking 'oh but thats just how he is'. Its been years.

How do i get the strength to leave and stop choosing my love for him over self respect and my own happiness.

Any advice welcome, i cant go on like this any more. How do i turn off the feelings without falling into a huge depression? Last time we split up i didnt eat for so long i ended up in hospital as i didnt eat for weeks and am on antidepressants now.

Someone please tell me how to navigate a break up i dont want, with a person i love. 😞

I have just written such a similar post!

I have no advice because I'm in the same boat but just want to say I'm so sorry you feel this way.

MILTOBE · 06/03/2024 14:58

Your mistake is thinking this is love. It really isn't.

Do you think an alcoholic loves alcohol?

You are addicted to this man. He's not good for you. He's not good to you. You need to go cold turkey, only mix with good people, keep away from romantic relationships for a while, eat healthily, exercise and keep your mind occupied with good things.

That's how you heal from addiction. If you do that for a few months you'll gain perspective and see how wrong he was for you and how what you felt wasn't actually love.

ThisIsaNiceDress · 06/03/2024 15:07

Try to find a therapist as well, one specialising in attachment issues and addiction. This is a huge challenge for you, but you only have one life.

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