I know I need to leave him. He is not good for me. If i even attempt to think of my relationship from a third party and what i would advise, im mortified that im in a relationship so shit so nobody even knows.
The problem is, i adore him. I love him probably alot more than i should and definitely more than i love myself. I am weak and a pushover and settle for a fraction of goodness that he shows here and there, just so i have part of him.
Its never going to work but i love him so much. But i just know he doesnt love me the same way and im sick of thinking 'oh but thats just how he is'. Its been years.
How do i get the strength to leave and stop choosing my love for him over self respect and my own happiness.
Any advice welcome, i cant go on like this any more. How do i turn off the feelings without falling into a huge depression? Last time we split up i didnt eat for so long i ended up in hospital as i didnt eat for weeks and am on antidepressants now.
Someone please tell me how to navigate a break up i dont want, with a person i love. 😞