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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Abusive Ex manufactured fake bruises on DD

3 replies

loandbehold24 · 06/03/2024 09:52

I've posted before about my abusive ex husband. We have DD 30 months. I want to return to Ireland where all my family are. Ex has refused so it's going through the courts.

The latest turn of events is my DD returned with bruise on her inner arm in a finger shape. It was clear she'd been dragged. She also had one on her upper thigh the week before. I told the social worker as a Section7 report is being completed for Child Arrangements Proceedings. She could have just run off and needed to be grabbed to keep her safe but no explanation was given.

On Sunday, my ex sent me a pic of a bruise on DD's inner leg and made accusations. We had been at soft play on Saturday with some boisterous older children. At one point, they bounded over her on the trampoline, so I assumed it happened there and explained.

Social Worker investigated. Nursery saw no bruise on Monday. Ex still refused to accept my explanation and refused to send updated pictures of the bruise. Social worker advised I make a GP appointment for a professional medical opinion. I did so immediately. Ex strongly opposed the GP appointment. Later in the morning, his mother messaged and said the bruise had disappeared when she changed DD's nappy Tuesday morning.

The bruise was fabricated. I'm a health care professional, and this false accusation could have had very serious ramifications for my career.

My issue is how do I proceed. I have limited money for legal fees. My ex is not held even slightly accountable for emotional abuse , invasions of privacy, fabricated bruises..

It's all minimised as "they can't get along." I have constantly tried to compromise. A high conflict , malignant narcissist, cannot compromise. He revels in conflict and ruining my day.

It's impacting DD, and that devastates me.

Any advice on how to handle this would be greatly appreciated.

OP posts:
Bluedabadeeba · 06/03/2024 13:26

Sorry, no advice or helpful suggestions on my part. Just wanted to bump this for you so that hopefully you'll get the support you need.

So sorry you're going through this. Sending you strength (although it sounds like you have a shed load of that). Virtual hugs.

Pumpkinpie1 · 06/03/2024 15:10

Have you informed Social Worker and sent them copy of MIL text message? Keep them in the loop .

jeaux90 · 06/03/2024 15:59

Having had an abusive, narcissistic ex the only way to deal with them is to grey rock and have a little interaction as possible. I assume because the ExMIL is messaging you then it might already be the situation but remember you'll need to grey rock her too.

Factual interaction with professionals, give them every and all details.

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