Partners physical touch sulking - AIBU

[Herewegoagain22]

My partner and I have different levels of needs when it comes to physical touch. She needs a lot and needs to be cuddled before we fall asleep and in the morning. Whereas I can quite happy wake up, kiss her and go to pee. This has in the past caused issues so I have been very careful to ensure I ramp up the affection as it’s important to her.

however, if for instance one or two nights I don’t I’m met with sulking or ‘you don’t ever cuddle me, I feel like you never want to cuddle me’ chats the next morning and so I’m very conscious of it. It happened again the other night, now I think physical touch is fine, we hold hands, cuddle kiss and physical intimacy is good and regular. It’s not always easy being pulled up for something you don’t realise you’re doing, and I often feel that it will become something I have to be regimented in rather than something that feels natural.

it happened again last week, and I was disappointed as I feel like a child being pulled up for not being good enough. I tried not to react but then when I did she said ‘this is why I don’t say anything because you react like this, I am allowed to be sensitive’ which she is of course. AIBU?

You're not being unreasonable, but it doesn't sound like you're compatible.

She sounds needy and you don't seem to be compatible. If you're constantly having to reassure her, then it will get very draining.

Hugs are nice but not the same when they're an obligation. The telling you off when cuddles aren't happening morning and night would annoy me Op.

The truth of it is often somewhere in between. To you, you give extra demonstration, to her you have gaps and so she says something. You get frustrated because to you, you are trying.
It's because you are forcing yourself to be someone you are not, so you probably are not doing it on a daily basis to her level of need, and when life gets busy, you will probably not think about doing it because it's not natural to you.
You are just different, I'd guess it was probably more like a week rather than the 2 nights you claimed before she said something, otherwise you make it sound like she is being unreasonable to say you 'never' cuddle.
I think you probably tried to hard to please her from the start, rather than setting your stall out and saying that it's not your way. You could try explaining now, that it doesn't mean you care less, but she may have difficulty believing you now as you have basically been pretending all this time that you like doing it too.

She does sound rather insecure and needy tbh and being told off for not cuddling enough would drain on me very quickly.

YANBU but I can’t see a compromise on this tbh as it seems to be all on her terms and unless you’re showing affection on demand, she’ll find reason to complain.

Nothing useful to add but christ that sounds suffocating and won't get any better.