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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Pregnant 7 months and Loveless Partner

1 reply

unLuckyLeprachaun · 05/03/2024 13:57

I think i need some advise - im lost at the minute

Background:
I have been with my partner over 2 years and he is a nice guy. He lives in his house and i live in mine. He has 2 kids from previous relationship and he has full custody at the minute.
Stressed of dealing with 2 kids all the time and now we have found out that im pregnant. Also dealing with Courts and custody with previous partner.

He used to care and show affection, but he claims now due to stress he cant be there for me emotionally, but to be honest its emotionally, physically or virtually - barely texts anymore - yet says still wants to be there for me and baby in relationship.

So this leaves me living alone, pregnant, and in a relationship with a man who cant give me any love, cuddles, any affection whatsoever - and his reasoning is he is coping with alot. I am there for him anytime he needs me, but its breaking me that i dont have any love in my life, i am so affectionate and loving, and have no one to hug or love me. - iv tried to talk to him and he seems to turn it back on me. admits its crap for me but its how it is right now.

As much as i want to scream and cry, its not doing me or baby or anyone any good, so i am getting on with everything alone. But its so hard being in someones company you love and you just wanna be close to them and they are rejecting you.

I adore him, i adore the kids, and were bringing a wee one into the world soon, so i dont know what to do?

Talk to him, add to his stress levels and walk away / distance myself - or keep going and keep feeling like this and hopefully things might get better?

I understand he is stressed and dealing with alot, but where does that leave us? im not causing the stress, but im paying for it.

Sorry Rant Over :)

OP posts:
Hiddenvoice · 06/03/2024 08:57

This sounds tough! It sounds like (and I’m sorry to say) he wasn’t ready to have another baby as he’s still trying to figure other things out.
Have you made a plan for when the baby is born? If he plans to be around a lot then is he moving in with his children too?

I think you need to put yourself and your baby first. You need to speak to him about plans, what’s going to happen when you go into labour- who will look after his children? Will you become more of a blended family and will your relationship progress?
It seems like hes decided to take a step back and let you get on with it but that’s unfair on you.

He can’t avoid these questions because you need to know where you stand. You need to know if you two are still in a relationship or instead co parenting.

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