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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How can I learn to trust my fiancé more when it comes to women in his social media?

5 replies

Quickrunner91 · 04/03/2024 21:43

I really love my fiancé so much but this has been an issue for me. He was dating many women before me and had a lot of random women on his Facebook who he was flirting with online.
When we got serious he deleted many of these women. However, I still see random women loving his posts on facebook, writing comments etc. He never mentions these women. I found out one of them he’s never met in person, but they remain friends online and like eachothers content. I also notice him keep following random other women.
I know that I should not be paranoid but I always find myself wondering if he’s secretly chatting to one of these women. I know he loves me and in reality he probably isn’t chatting to any of these women. Any tips on how I can work on this would be appreciated, thank you

OP posts:
Echobelly · 04/03/2024 21:49

Does he have female friends in real life? That's the big question to me - if you can see he has platonic female friends I might be less worried. Although if he has women who are just 'online friends' that suggests in the very least he might like to have them to stroke his ego?

My DH has plenty of actual female friends and I am aware of all of them. It seems a little shady for your bloke to have a lot of apparently random girls he just associates with online. Nothing will probably happen with any of them but I'd be concerned he was seeking some sort of female validation which wouldn't be healthy.

ineedtogoshoppingnow · 04/03/2024 21:50

You just need to tell yourself that if he's going to cheat he's going to do it with of without social media. You either trust him or you don't, if you think his online activity is innocent and these are your insecurities I'd suggest coming off social media yourself.

ineedtogoshoppingnow · 04/03/2024 21:53

Just to add though , If my husband was getting his self esteem from random women online I'd have a problem with that.

Bunnyhair · 04/03/2024 21:57

Surely very few of these sexy ladies of social media are real. Rather than feeling jealous I think I would just find it tragic that he’s been flirting with random bots and scammers.

Echobelly · 04/03/2024 22:08

Yes @Bunnyhair has a good point. If nothing else it may indicate he's rather naive!

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