OLD - What do you make of this?

[Whsthappensnow]

I recently tried OLD again. I created a profile on one particular site. I had a few messages and some of my matches were people I new in real life anyway. I started dating one but I was still talking to another one. At this point I'd decided to delete my profile. When I started dating one the other one hadn't been in touch in over a week anyway but I decided to message him, tell him I'm deleting my profile and gave him my number on WhatsApp.

It was another week before I heard from him again and in this time I'd been dumped by the one I was dating. (Who actually is a neighbour who I've known for ages) Anyway I told this other one everything because I feel like I have nothing to lose and I want to be honest. At this point he tells me he hasn't been honest. His profile is 7 years out of date, he's swerved sending me pictures and the ones he had on his profile were all different. He's messaging me every day sometimes funny sometimes slightly flirty. He's older than me and I'm keen to try dating someone older because the younger men I've been interested in have been either idiots or sexual predators but I've got no idea what's going on with this one.

He knows everything about me yet I wouldn't know him if I fell over him.

I had my hair done at the weekend. It was a big change. He asked me for a pic. I sent one. I asked for one back but didn't get one and as per usual he changed the subject and hasn't been in touch since.

My friends are telling me to ghost delete and block although one did say what if he is the one.

It's been a month. I did cancel a lunch date because I couldn't get away at work but given that I'm so cagey anyway it probably wasn't a bad thing and I was only dumped 2 weeks ago so probably still a bit fragile but what's going on and why is this so difficult!?

Ask yourself why do you spew out everything about yourself and jump to his tune, when you know absolutely nothing about him??

Be a bit more canny, and try and have a bit more control over yourself, and don’t judge people by your own standards. In other words you’re an open book, but he’s a complete stranger to you.

Surely that row of red flags fluttering away all around this ‘person’ are easy enough to spot OP?

OLD is great for some and clearly quite dangerous for others. Eyes wide open when interacting with anyone online no matter how genuine or real they seem.

@hennybeans that's my suspicion. A friend of mine has also recently told me that the one who dumped me is still married too. I feel like a bit of a scumbag magnet at the moment and think my mental health would benefit from another extended break from men. Its only 2 weeks since I was dumped which is still early days.

The documentary mentioned upthread might well be of interest. I did listen to a podcast recently about romance fraud too which was very interesting.

Excuse me if I’m stating the obvious, but if someone’s profile shows them as 7 years younger this doesn’t mean their profile is 7 years out of date. It means they deliberately input the wrong birth date when they set the profile up; this is what OLD uses to calculate age. In my OLD days that would have been an automatic ‘no’ from me.

@TitInATrance I am a bit wet behind the ears and naive when it comes to OLD. It was my first time on this particular site and I thought it was possible the site didn't automatically update. Also when he told me he was actually 52 I thought well I'm 46 it's older than ideal but it's OK and the early 40's ones before were Also awful

It’s called Prick Advisor U.K.!

Hun, this giy isn't the one.

You know that bit in Harry Potter where Ginny has been pouring her heart out writing into a posessed diary which writes back? That's what you're doing. This guy knows everything about your life, despite the fact he started off lying about his age, looks, and location?

@Zanatdy that group looks like a much better use of my time.

@Natty13 I'm not familiar with HP at all but I do get what you mean. God its all a learning curve isn't it? This is why I was hoping I'd meet someone IRL without having to go down this route!

It’s a lot of fun slagging off all the losers!

@Zanatdy I think I will find it immensely therapeutic and entertaining. I hope they hurry up and accept my request to join. I have stories to share!