Why is it that I am much more jealous of women in porn than my boyfriend of the men?

[Hundeliebe]

Why is it that I am much more jealous of women in porn than my boyfriend of the men?

Although my boyfriend is also rather a jealous person, he really does not a have problem with me watching porn. But I have a Problem with it.

It makes me very insecure when he jerks off to other women's bodies. And Im just asking myself, why? Disclaimer: I'm not interested in finding a solution to my insecurities, because we've already agreed that we want to try to do without porn. In this question, I'm simply interested in why I react to the topic in such a more extreme way, even though we watch the same content. I already have some guesses:

1. There is a "difference" whether he watches porn or I watch porn. He looks at women, that's clear, but I look at women too. It doesn't turn me on at all, to see aroused men and anyway they always zoom in on the woman's face and body and not the man's. So there's an imbalance of "disrespect", if you want to look at it that way, between me and him, because I'm hardly interested in the men at all. And no, I'm completely straight. For both of us, It's about sex and how this sex pleasures the woman.
2. Women have an increased need for security and I feel "threatened" by this in the sense that my body may not be good enough (even if I know that it has nothing to do with it and my boyfriend gives me a lot reassurance for my body). I'm just afraid that all the small waists, big breasts, nice asses will make him so visually dull that he won't find my body that attractive one day.

TL;DR: Why am I (W,23) much more jealous and insecure about my boyfriend (M,29) watching porn than he is with me?

That’s the function of porn. To ruin relationships

I feel the same about porn. I hate it.

Mainly because the men in porn just look sleezy! The women are the main stars in porn the man just there as a prop. Just remember porn is nothing like real life but if it bothers you so much, do tell your boyfriend that you don’t like it!

Perhaps because women are still valued more for the way they look than anything else.

Maybe if your eyes were on stalks everytime a massive wang was on screen, your bf would feel insecure too.

You're 23. Find a better boyfriend who doesn't make you feel insecure

Because you’re young and insecure? No one can answer why you’re jealous and insecure. You’re making an erronepus Assumption we all feel like that. We don’t. You do. Others will too. Most won’t.

Just stop watching porn

Probably because men tend to have very high opinions of themselves to the point of delusion, so it wouldn't even occur to your partner to watch the men and feel inadequate, as he probably feels he isn't that far away from them in looks and prowess anyway; or else he doesnt care, because a womans opinion of a male body is irrelevant to him and all that matters is if men like what they see. Basically, his only interest is in objectifying the women and the sexual stimulation he gets from their bodies.
He isn't jealous of you seeing the men because he knows they're no threat as you're not going to take sex away from him to give it to them instead, which is the root of male 'jealousy'.
You on the other hand will be likely far more predisposed to worry about his pleasure and be concerned with how far your body pleases him in comparison to the other women. You have been socialised to this attitude. You are also likely to have a more critical view of your own appearance than he is, as the bar for women is set higher. Hence you feel threatened by women you think are more sexually attractive to your partner than you.

Because the porn you watch is made for men, the men in it are average looking and non threatening to your boyfriend while the women are far better looking than the male actor could realistically get in real life. The video shots are focused on the woman so you see less of the man. Of course he wont get insecure, porn is safe viewing for the male ego. Dump your bf and stay single for a year before dating again.

I don't think it's just porn, it's jealousy in general.

DP doesn't watch porn, so let's go for celebs instead. If DP watches Chris Hemsworth in something, I'm pretty much guaranteed I'm going to have sex that night. Why would that bother me, yeah she's getting riled up over a fantasy, but I'm going to reap the benefits of it. Whereas if DP ever made the same link with me and Scarlett Johansson, then she'd probably get fairly pissed off.

Jealousy comes from a place of insecurity. Women tend to be less secure in relationships than men. If me and DP split up, she'd have more to lose. I'm the main earner because she's made more sacrifices to her career due to our child, etc. if we split up, even if we split everything 50/50, she'd likely come out worse off. Statistically, I'm also more likely to look elsewhere for sex, simply because I'm male.

As a result, women are more likely to be concerned about porn, about friends of the opposite sex etc.

On the flip side, men who get jealous tend to be insecure about themselves. They don't believe that they're good enough to keep their partner deep down, so they get jealous and controlling in an attempt to reduce the risks of that happening.

I'd say jealousy runs fairly equally across both genders, though not sure about with regards to porn specifically. But many men are hugely jealous.

Women are valued more by the way they look.

porn isn’t designed for you to look at the men.

you’re probably already more vulnerable in your relationship than he is.

It’s seldom about another man’s appearance though.

I'd disagree. I think fewer men get jealous, but the ones that do get massively more jealous than women, so the consequences of it are more noticeable.

Porn is primarily for men. It is destructive and will eat away at you both.

Stop watching it and you'll feel better.

If you "need" something to help you masturbate, go get yourself a good smutty novel. Designed for the female reader, and with the added bonus that no one is being exploited, trafficked or harmed.