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Original poster

I found out today my dad has a brain tumour.

22 replies

Sidge · 25/03/2008 19:14

I am numb

My dad has lived in Australia for the last 25 years, but I see him every couple of years or so and we speak and email regularly. We managed to get out there for a holiday last October and stayed with him and had a wonderful time. It was the most time I had ever spent with him really. I feel like I just 'found' my dad and now I might lose him.

He is having surgery at the weekend after some drugs to try and shrink the tumour but my brother (who now lives there) says the prognosis is not good.

I just don't know what to think.

Thanks for letting me offload here. I don't want to tell my friends because I don't think I can talk about it without falling apart. My DH is away at sea.

OP posts:
ShinyDysonHereICome · 25/03/2008 19:19

Oh Sidge I am so sorry

I lost my Dad 11 years ago- he had 2 very imbedded brain tumours which were so progressed as to be inoperable.

Please don't give up hope- for my Dad sadly there was no hope, with your's they clearly think they may be able to help him hence the operation.

Feel free to email me; I'm happy to give you my number should you ever need to talk x

[email protected]

(Ironically I have literally just moved from Hampshire to East Sussex but I visit often!

Shaniece · 25/03/2008 19:48

Sorry to hear about you Dad Sidge. My uncle had a brain tumour and the Docs said there wasn't much hope - that was 10 years ago and he is still here.

Whatever happens just keep posting on here for support and advice. XX.

Original poster
Sidge · 25/03/2008 20:01

Thanks Shiny - I'm sorry about your dad . I am swinging between feeling that there's no point worrying until we know what to worry about (my usual frame of mind, quite optimistic and upbeat) and despair. I feel so overwhelmed with sadness.

Shaniece - thank you too. It's really nice to hear positive outcomes like your uncle's. I am keeping everything so crossed that Dad's outcome is going to be positive too. He's a bloody tough cookie so I am sure he will do all he can!

I have just found his hospital's website and sent him an e-card - how cool is that?! Off to find Interflora now to send him something to cheer him up.

OP posts:
BreeVanDerCampLGJ · 25/03/2008 20:03

Sidge

Just check his hospital allow flowers.Some do not.

FAQ · 25/03/2008 20:04

Sorry to hear about your Dad, must be hard with him being so far away [

ShinyDysonHereICome · 25/03/2008 20:04

That's ok!

Any time you need to chat, just shout
Great that you can send him a card etc!

Think positively- I hesitated telling you about my Dad but with him they wouldn't even contemplate an operation so I thought the fact they are offering your Dad one might give you some hope

BreeVanDerCampLGJ · 25/03/2008 20:07

Sidge

Use this site for cheap calls to Oz,

We have reduced our phone bills by one third on phone calls to Ireland.

HTH

VanillaPumpkin · 25/03/2008 20:12

Oh you poor thing. How horrid and how hard to be so far away . Will be thinking of you. When is your DH due back? Could he pull a compassionate?? Sounds like you could do with some support in RL too like a hug for a start .

Califrau · 25/03/2008 20:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Sidge · 26/03/2008 21:49

Thanks for your good wishes.

Bree - thanks for that website, that should save me some money! I am staying up now to phone him tonight (tomorrow morning his time) so will give it a go.

Vanilla - DH is due back at the end of April. He will only get compassionate if I need to go to a funeral, but luckily his boss has been great and allowed him unlimited ship-to-shore phone calls (which when they are at sea are strictly allocated!). Just wish he was here to give me a cuddle

Anyway keep your healing vibes coming (well send them Down Under but you know what I mean). Thank god for MN.

OP posts:
VanillaPumpkin · 28/03/2008 21:17

Hey Sidge. Glad you are getting the phone calls. Not quite the same though .
How are things today?

Original poster
Sidge · 28/03/2008 23:00

Hi Vanilla, thanks for your message.

Have spoken to Dad a couple of times, and the family are keeping me updated. He is not too bad, quite positive and much more comfortable now he's getting all the lovely drugs. He is a little muddled occasionally, and his speech is affected a little - slightly slurred and he's articulating much more carefully. All to be expected I suppose.

He understands why I can't go over there now (have 3 girls, one with special needs and no-one to have them for me) but once he's had his surgery and we know what we're dealing with I might need to go. Wish it wasn't quite so far away!!

It's just all so crap, life ain't ever simple is it?

OP posts:
VanillaPumpkin · 29/03/2008 12:35

No. It is very crap and doubly so being so far away. Keep positive and I hope the surgery goes well.

cocolepew · 29/03/2008 12:47

My uncle died from an inoperale brain tumour, but, between diagnosis and his death he lived for another 9 happy years.
xxxxx

Walkthedinosaur · 29/03/2008 13:06

Hi I just wanted to offer you some support, my mum had a brain tumour about 4 years ago. It was the size of a cricket ball and had been there so long it had calcified, the doctor guessed at about 15 years. Anyhow, she was operated on and it was removed, the first month after the operation she was a bit weird as her brain moved back into the space the tumour had occupied and now 4 years later she's fine. She has a scan every year to make sure it doesn't come back so, so far so good. So don't lose hope, I truly believe that doctors can perform miracles these days. My best wishes to you and your family I know how stressful a time it is.

Original poster
Sidge · 29/03/2008 21:45

Thank you Cocolepew and Walkthedinosaur - I am desperately hoping that the surgeon can remove it and he will be up and about in a few weeks! But as a nurse myself I know it can go either way.

Neurosurgery is incredible these days, and apparently his surgeon is very well regarded in his field, so I am keeping everything crossed for Monday.

(But just in case the worst happens, I have just emailed him a letter telling him how much I love him and wish I could be there with him )

OP posts:
cocolepew · 29/03/2008 21:49

Sometimes being a nurse has it's drawbacks! Fingers crossed for you all.
x

VanillaPumpkin · 30/03/2008 10:18

Oh Sidge .
I wish there was someone there to give you a much needed hug. When is the op? Is it today? Thinking of you.

Original poster
Sidge · 31/03/2008 21:44

Thanks Vanilla.

He had his op today. It went well in that the surgeon removed the tumour, and Dad has come through well and is in ITU awake and fairly comfortable.

The not-so-good news is that the doc thinks it looked malignant, but that will need confirming with the histology. So another few days waiting to find out the prognosis.

But at least he got through the surgery.

I'm emotionally exhausted!

OP posts:
VanillaPumpkin · 01/04/2008 19:49

Gosh you must be worn out. How very stressful and not the absolutely positive outcome hoped for . They can do miracles now though! The waiting must be so hard .....

Original poster
Sidge · 05/04/2008 13:35

Well the histology is back and it's not good news.

He has a grade 3-4 malignant glioblastoma. This is aggressive and the prognosis isn't great. He starts radiotherapy on Monday and will have concurrent chemotherapy starting a few days after that.

It's just so shit

OP posts:
kd73 · 05/04/2008 13:37

Sidge, I am sorry (((((HUGS)))))

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