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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

He tells me about past conquests

15 replies

Imogenbee · 04/03/2024 00:50

When my boyfriend was single, nearly 2 years ago he was friends with a woman. They would go on dates but she kept him leading him on saying she was unsure what was going on etc.

One night he went out with some friends. A woman he never met before was with them. He said she was slim - I have seen the photos of their night out and she was quite overweight which there is nothing wrong with so I don't know why he lied.

He said she was flirty and followed him in to the toilets and started touching his privates when he was urinating. He ended up back at hers, he said they were messing around and said she got on top of him and he said he felt she forced herself on him. I said well if you take your clothes off it is giving a mixed message. He said he didn't want the one night stand woman for a relationship and she was very upset he was not interested in more.

He said the woman he was dating asked if he was seeing anyone and she went mad when he told her about the one night stand. He said he felt awful as a person and it messed his head up and he hurt 2 people. He did say he doesn't know why he is talking about it and said he should stop. I reassured him they these women had their part to play with some manipulation going on.

He said both of these women had drink problems and one had her children taken off her and another risked losing her child. I don't understand why he would entertain these women who have an alcohol addiction and can't be there for their children. I did say they should have been focusing on their children and not messing around. I do feel he exploited them when they were vulnerable.

He mentioned this scenario a week ago too. I felt a bit uncomfortable today as I feel he is telling me too much detail. I am not a counsellor and don't want to hear about his sex life with past conquests.

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 04/03/2024 00:52

Did you believe all this when he told you?
Honestly, he sounds awful.
Has he got any good points?

Aquamarine1029 · 04/03/2024 01:04

Your standards should be far higher than to put up with this. Ignore these glaring red flags at your own peril.

pikkumyy77 · 04/03/2024 01:16

Creepy.

Garlicking · 04/03/2024 01:24

So, according to him, one-night-stand woman sexually assaulted him and he then went to her place, where he got undressed and she sexually assaulted him again, so he stuck his dick in her and they had sex.

At this time he was dating another woman and he was surprised she minded that he'd had a one-night stand. Then he felt bad about it all.

Both the women are alcoholics who are unable to care for their children.

You seem to be describing a man who abuses vulnerable women by giving them hopes of a stable relationship, and won't take responsibility for his own actions. He allows himself to feel bad after hurting them, but it didn't stop him doing it.

Sounds like a prince, doesn't he?!

I wonder why he's telling you this now. Has he found himself confusingly in bed with another alcoholic woman? Or does he just want you to tell him it's all okay, no harm done, so he can go off and get sexually assaulted by another desperate girl who makes his clothes fall off?

You can do better, @Imogenbee. Even the drunk women could do better than him, and I hope they have done. Be warned that after you dump him (tomorrow), he'll probably tell his next victim you're a needy drunk. Nice guy.

Northernsouloldies · 04/03/2024 01:33

Me thinks he's lying, woman follows you in to toilet to play with your knob while pissing....nope never happened.

ShrubRose · 04/03/2024 01:58

OP, it's good that you shared this on MN. This doesn't sound like a promising relationship for you. It would be a good idea to move on.

AgentJohnson · 04/03/2024 05:14

Hmm, so he knows these random women's life stories after the briefest of encounters. I’d tell him that these stories paint him as a dickhead.

When someone tells you who they are, listen.

ZebraD · 04/03/2024 05:24

All sounds a bit odd. Is he a bit of an oddball?

Justleaveitblankthen · 04/03/2024 06:24

Yeah, course he did 😂😂

Oblomov24 · 04/03/2024 06:27

What a mess, he sounds a peach.

FedUpMumof10YO · 04/03/2024 06:37

Don't be stupid by believing all his tripe.

Ditch him.

Ginandpangolins · 04/03/2024 08:40

Garlicking · 04/03/2024 01:24

So, according to him, one-night-stand woman sexually assaulted him and he then went to her place, where he got undressed and she sexually assaulted him again, so he stuck his dick in her and they had sex.

At this time he was dating another woman and he was surprised she minded that he'd had a one-night stand. Then he felt bad about it all.

Both the women are alcoholics who are unable to care for their children.

You seem to be describing a man who abuses vulnerable women by giving them hopes of a stable relationship, and won't take responsibility for his own actions. He allows himself to feel bad after hurting them, but it didn't stop him doing it.

Sounds like a prince, doesn't he?!

I wonder why he's telling you this now. Has he found himself confusingly in bed with another alcoholic woman? Or does he just want you to tell him it's all okay, no harm done, so he can go off and get sexually assaulted by another desperate girl who makes his clothes fall off?

You can do better, @Imogenbee. Even the drunk women could do better than him, and I hope they have done. Be warned that after you dump him (tomorrow), he'll probably tell his next victim you're a needy drunk. Nice guy.

OP, please pay attention to this massively insightful post. Wishing you luck.

samestyle · 04/03/2024 09:25

Sounds like he's trying to keep you in your toes and make himself sound irresistible to women that they need to throw themselves at him, so you should be lucky lol
It does sound over elaborate and most probably total bs for most of it.
Two years in, does he make you feel uncomfortable generally, men that lie about one thing, normally leads to a web of lies in end.

newnamethanks · 04/03/2024 09:35

Too much porn. Get checked for STD in case it's true and send him back to his video screen.

determinedtomakethiswork · 04/03/2024 09:43

Oh my God what are you doing talking to a man like this? Whether he's done it or not or whatever, get away from him!

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